Weekend outing

Went in to get mum from the home and take her out for coffee and cake (cheesecake which she loves). I find it quite difficult now to get her in and out of the car and she is finding it more difficult to understand the instructions you are giving her. To sit her down in the cafe I get her to put two hands on the table and then I put the chair behind her and lower her on to it. I then pull the table to her. She tends to flop into a chair and I worry in case she misses it!! George came and met us at the cafe as he loves going there too. He caught the bus home so it is great to keep that up.

I have to be careful when I am driving as our roads are still bad with lots of road works and with mum talking non stop and demanding answers it is difficult to concentrate. It is quite difficult to talk to her as she does not always know what she is talking about but expects you to know. She has forgotten what has happened 5 minutes before so she is really 'living in the moment'. She also expects one-on-one attention and so you have to completely devote yourself to her and what she is saying.

I must say that I retired 15 months ago in order to look after mum at home. Unfortunately mum's condition got worse very quickly and now of course I have George with Alzheimer's as well. I can't say that this is the retirement I ever imagined for myself. I had planned to spend more time with my grandchildren, do some travelling, enjoying life and other things like that - all things that now seem unlikely although I am going to Australia for a week for a family wedding. I am arranging for others to go and see mum each day while I am away. I know that she would be OK not having someone each day but not everyone knows that so it is better that I have that organised. Unfortunately also I will be away for mother's day so I will just have to have mother's day for her the Sunday before. In my position it is very easy to feel that you are the one that no one needs to worry about - therefore it is important to realise that you need to care for yourself. After the earthquake unfortunately my son and grandchildren moved to Auckland so my visions of spending more time with them did not eventuate. Everything changed so quickly - now I am here with mum and George.

I had just got home today when the people at the home rang to let me know that mum had lost colour and slumped down. They found that she was breathing heavily and had low blood pressure so that they are keeping an eye on that and will let me know if they need me to go and sit with her.

George's sister lives in England so I guess it is hard for her to know she won't see him again - he won't be able to travel over there. His son's live in Auckland and in Sydney so they would need to come here to see him. It is his birthday this week and I am pleased as I have been able to get him a copy of the DVD of Casablanca (I have got him some new clothes as well) - but I doubt that it will be here in time.