Enduring Power of Attorney

After visiting mum at the home I went to a meeting for families that the home was running. This week the topic was about Enduring Power of Attorneys. I was fascinated with all the different questions/topics that were asked by the other families.

• One person was acting for her aunt and wanted to know what would happen if she died before the aunt - goes to court where someone is appointed by the court
• One woman was in conflict with her step daughter over the finances - her own superannuation was being taken into account as part of their assets regarding payment to the home

Certainly the thing that came through was the fact that it is so important for everyone to have an enduring power of attorney in case of all sorts of things not just dementia. I have emailed our solicitor to make an appointment to get ours done asap!!

Time means little

Today I rang the doctor to make an appointment for George and me to go to see him so we can discuss whether George is displaying some of the symptoms of dementia. We have an appointment on Thursday at 10.30 a.m. I told George when we were going:

"Will I be back by then?"

I asked where he was going and he replied that he was going to Auckland. I asked him when he was going and he did know it was 5th November. I then got him to look at the date of today's paper - August 29th. I then had to show him, on a calendar, how he was not going to Auckland for some time.

He is fine when he is directed to do something or he is doing things which he does regularly.

I was away...

I spent two nights away so before I went I got things organised for George's meals. I put meals in the fridge to be heated. I made him go over and over how to work the microwave. We practised it many times. He also wanted to watch the rugby game on Saturday night. Again we practised how to turn the TV on (using the TV remote) and then use the Sky remote to change the channel.

I came home. He had put a meal in the microwave (well done), turned it on (well done) but couldn’t remember how to get it out – it was still in there when I got home this afternoon. Luckily I had also left out bread, crackers, cheese etc. so he was not hungry. The TV he had managed to turn on and then had obviously used the TV channels so then was unable to change the Sky channels – it goes to a different source.

I also had a lot of cleaning up to do from the mess around the place.

Once more he had a case out and packed ready for his trip to Auckland in two months. I asked why and he told me, I asked if he remembered it was not for two months - yes he had. I asked if he planned to wear undies or PJ’s during the two months – yes he did and so he then put those back in the drawers.

Repeat performance

This morning George came out with his suitcase. I asked him if he was going somewhere. 'Auckland' he replied. When I asked him when he was going he told me it was tomorrow. I asked if he knew what date he was going and he told me 5 November (so he remembered that from yesterday) I then said what is the date today - he had just got the paper so he was able to tell me the correct date. He was still unable to figure out that he was not going to Auckland tomorrow! I went over how it was another two months - saying the alphabet so hopefully he may remember that.

In the afternoon an old cousin came to visit as he was over from Australia. George is passionate about rugby and is still able to discuss the players and teams and games in depth. He remembers games from the 50s until the present day. He is able to discuss how the various players have played in any of the games, their strengths and their weaknesses. However at the moment they are playing in a TriNations series and George is unable to comprehend that these games are not part of the World Cup.

Confusion

I visited my mother today. Another one of her cousin's came too and we took her out to a cafe for a coffee and a muffin. She enjoyed her time there and the three of us talked about the family at the time of her childhood. She is able to recognise us and her long term memory is often pretty good. Her short term memory changes.

As we went back to the home she became very upset and kept saying about 'being dumped there', how she hated it there. how she did not like anyone there and so it went on. When we arrived back at the home she stamped her foot and said 'and now I'll be here for another --- year!'!! We calmed her down and got her back inside. It is not easy when she gets so upset. I try to distract her but sometimes this does not work for a while.

A week ago I booked some flights to Auckland to see some of the family. George and I did this together. We have booked a flight for him at the beginning of November (for a week) and I am going up this coming weekend (two nights). Since then he has asked twice about when his trip is and I have told him and explained that it is not for another two months.

Yesterday morning George wandered out with a stack of clothes. I was not too sure why he was doing this and so I asked him about it, he was packing. I explained that the trip is two months away so there is no need to pack yet - still he has left that stack on the floor in the bedroom so he is 'ready'. I find it easier to let him do things like this which he seems to need to do.

During the day he spends hours pouring over old sporting books and making lists about old players. He is passionate about rugby and looking forward to the World Cup but cannot make sense of why the games being played at the moment are not part of the World Cup. I keep explaining that the World Cup hasn't started yet and there is about 20 days to go! We have this same conversation most days....

At the start...

When did this start? I am not too sure about that however I feel sure that George is in the early stages of dementia (maybe Alzheimer's). He has not been to a doctor about this yet.

Last year my elderly mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Until then I had little idea about this disease. I planned to take care of her at home (and had planned to start this blog then) but unfortunately this became too much and she had to go into a home this year.  She does not like the home at all and is certainly lucid enough to know that and let you know about it. I visit her at least twice a week to take her out and I have other people visiting as well so she gets visitors every day.

This year we have had the earthquakes which has not helped with anything like this but I must admit thinking at the time 'thank God Mum is in the home, I don't know how I could have coped with that as well as everything else'. I knew she was safe and well cared for. She had only been in the Home for a month when the earthquake hit...

Since the earthquake George has slowly started to show some of these signs.

• two weeks ago we were in Brisbane. We left the apartment building to go to some groceries. Not far into our walk (around the corner) George was finding it tough going. We were outside a tavern which advertised lunches. I suggested to him to go in and have lunch with a wine and wait for me. When I got back he had left. I got back to the apartment and he was not there either. I wondered where to go looking for him. There was a knock on the door and a woman had brought George home. He had gone to the wrong apartment building and she had rung around to find where he was staying! He did not know why he hadn't waited.
• Two months ago his car was 'stolen'. Five weeks later the thieves put the car in another car park ( he saw it). I took him to check the car out. It had not been stolen in the first place he had just parked it in a different car park.

This is my journey as a caregiver for my mother.

This is also my blog about George's journey into another world and the journey of the caregiver - me!

I hope that it may be of use to others in the same position.

George is not his real name.