Thursday, July 28, 2016

Support groups

George enjoys seeing me each day. He is still aware of who people are and seems quite settled.

When the carers ask who wants to go through to another area for an activity I have noticed that George just sits there. I suspect he doesn't know what is going on. I encouraged him to go one day this week when I was there. It was some entertainers who come in each week, they sing and the whole thing is very interactive to include the audience. George loved it. I have told the care givers to tell him to come so he doesn't sit back. He loves these things but needs the encouragement and support to go.

This week I have set up two support groups for people. The first one is for people who have someone in care. There are six of us at this stage and we meet in a mall. Our buses go between all the malls in the city and are free for those over 65.

I made sure I was there a few minutes early to greet the others. The first to arrive was a woman who recently put her husband into care and is suffering from feelings of guilt and is rather depressed. Her face lit up when she saw me waiting. When we left she told us all how much better she felt after the time we spent together and really she had a spring in her step as she left, so worthwhile. Everyone felt that they wanted to keep the group going so we have arranged monthly meetings.

The other group I set up is for parents of some of my old pupils. I found out by accident that one of my old parents is suffering from depression and not going out. She would also lock her doors and not answer. She really wanted to be able to out. I organised for another one of my old parents to pick her up and the three of us met for coffee and a chat. She loved it and felt very comfortable. We have organised to meet weekly. Many people here are still traumatised and suffering from depression after the earthquakes. I realise that people who have not been through some of these things would think 'get over it'. It is not that easy.

So good we can share information, have a laugh in a relaxed informal manner and build up a rapport to support each other.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Summit

An interesting Summit starts today

http://alzheimersdementiasummit.com/schedule/?inf_contact_key=a901b08af2a831f82cb8c00c0463ee2dc5192a90b8a7d0425313ac91af3664ec

It is online and free!

There's a series of videos by various speakers on different aspects of things to do with Alzheimer's. I have registered and looking at the topics it looks worthwhile taking the time to register and view.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Being on your own

While you are caring for a person in your own home gradually, as the disease progresses, their needs completely take over your life.

I found that I saw less and less of my friends. We stopped going out during the evening. You actually become rather isolated. During this time it is important to retain the contact with others as much as possible. I tried to have coffee with friends whenever I could. Of course the effects of the earthquakes has also made this difficult.

My family had all gone so I only saw them briefly when they came over to see Mum. My son and grandchildren are in the North Island and I always made time for them whenever I could. I live in our home town but doubt that my siblings will ever return now our parents have gone as they have made their lives in Australia and there is now nothing for them here.

Since George has been in care it has been a real time of transition. For over five years my sleep has been very broken. My sleep patterns have not yet returned. I don't worry about it and several times have gone back to sleep and not woken up until after 9 a.m., very unlike me. I haven't had a lie in since I don't know when.

I am now 'camping' in my munted home while the flat where I live is being repaired. I now live on my own for the first time ever. It is a funny feeling. I am pleased I have my cat, Fluffy Bum, who sleeps on my bed at night which is rather nice.

I am having to make sure I eat proper meals! I must admit though it is just things I feel like.

It is lovely to not have the mess everywhere.

I am organising a group for people who have been carers and have recently put the person into care. We are meeting monthly at a cafe. It is good for people who are similar stages to get together like this as these people understand what you are going through.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Life style choices

There is no known reason why some people develop dementia. Often the people who do in fact develop dementia are people we do not expect it to happen to and of course the reverse is also true.

There are many articles written to help people try to keep their brains active in later life. It is important to realise this is no silver bullet as many people who do 'all the right things' will still develop dementia.

However we could do a lot more to educate people during their younger years.

Contact sports are played without any thought to the damage that is being done to the brain. Here people played on while suffering from concussion. It was considered that you did not leave the field unless you had to be carried off. Now people who are knocked out need medical clearance before they can play again. A good start but I do think people need to be aware of the dangers that may occur in later life.

Most adults have little understanding about dementia unless they have been directly involved in the care of someone with it. I personally had very little knowledge about it before I fell in the deep end! I have read widely and researched to find out as much as I can but boy there is so much to learn and no answers!

People who have the answers usually have little understanding.

Alcohol is part of our life style. Younger people often drink until they pass out. People who drink to excess often get involved in physical or verbal altercations. Often they are very aggressive but on sobering up have no memory of their behaviour or what they have said, often very hurtful and erroneous comments. Domestic violence is often associated with alcohol. Alcohol related dementia makes up a significant number of those people with dementia. The majority of younger people have no knowledge that this is a possible outcome of this behaviour. Teaching about this should be part of our Health curriculum.


Friday, July 15, 2016

Turkey

Today we learnt about the problems in Turkey. My heart goes out to them as well as those in Nice and the USA. What an unsettled time we live in now, maybe it is just as well my finances don't allow me to travel. Since Britain's referendum we here, in New Zealand, have received a lot of applications from British doctors and nurses to come here to live. A lot of New Zealanders are returning home and surprisingly many of our neighbours are relocating here. Part of it is that our economy is not as bad as many others and we are known as a relatively safe country.

George's home is still in lockdown however I still go and see him and ensure he is OK. He just loves those milkshakes. I figure that they are giving him sustenance as well as fluids. I hope they all recover soon. 

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Money flies!

Once you have a parent or spouse go into care you will notice that money flies out of the window and honestly it flies out quickly.

Our economists have worked out how much people need to save in order to be able to have a good standard of living once they are retired.  Unfortunately this makes no difference for the carer. In New Zealand our Government helps with the fees when assets reach less than one fifth of what the economists recommend you need for retirement. Unfortunately this means that carers will not have the retirement life style we all dream of, for example travel. We will always be in the position of needing to watch every penny. Unfortunately more and more of us will be in this position. I must have been very bad in a past life to have been responsible for two, very costly.

Luckily George has dodged the illness in his home - fingers crossed! He is eating well but still very frail. When he first went in he often went out for a walk, not now! Carers in the home take the residents out for a walk when they want to go. They also have a nice garden area to go outside to wander around or sit in the sunshine. We have been having a very mild winter with lovely warm days.  George certainly feels the cold and wears a lot of clothes. This seems to be the same for a lot of the others too.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Lock down

George's Home is in lock down at present as many residents have vomitting and diarrhoea. Keeping fingers crossed at the moment as so far George has not been affected. I am still popping in with milk shakes and things but I am not staying for long.

Often, when I arrive, George will be seating in the lounge and be sleeping. After a while he will wake. He still recognises everyone and enjoys looking through his books and photos. We discuss the photos and talk about things we all did together. He also enjoys hand massages. His language is often really good and we will have a long and, sometimes, involved conversation. Another day his language makes very little sense, it varies from day to day.

He is quite happy in the home and does enjoy being with others. The unit he is in only caters for twelve residents which is ideal for him. He is getting to know some of the other residents many of whom and still operating at a higher level than he is.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Going out

George has been going downhill since going into the home. His mobility is really going downhill. Many days they use a wheelchair to take him to the lounge, a very short distance. When he first went into the home he was using a walking stick. Now he needs a walker and sometimes even that is not an option. This has made going out not possible. I am hoping that things improve. He is very frail. 

He still has a certain amount of short term memory and remembered some friends seeing him yesterday. I go in every day and take in plenty of drinks such as Cranbeery juice, lemonade and ginger beer. Most days I also take him a milk shake - just like I did with Mum.


Saturday, July 9, 2016

Families

My mother was a strong woman and a matriarch in our family. Her wish was that all of her daughter's would always there for each other and that they would always have each other's backs.  When I was looking after her Mum used to ask me if my sisters looked after me like that too. Ofcourse at this stage Mum was suffering from dementia. She herself was an only child and I am sure that she would have loved to have a sibling. It is so sad when you hear about siblings 'ganging up' against one of the siblings. I have always believed that blood is thicker than water but unfortunately this does not seem to always be the case. Nurture family relationships as they are important. This is especially important when there is an elderly parent or other family member in care. Naturally due to various circumstances (such as work commitments or geographical locations) one of the siblings will be the main carer. Be kind to this person, support them and remember how they are taking the main load of everyone's responsibility. One of the groups I go to for carers have spoken about how some of them feel isolated due to feeling 'on the outer' by their siblings. It is really important for everyone to work together so they can achieve the best quality of life for their loved one.

I know Mum would have been thrilled to know that two of her grandchildren were there for the celebration of her life. One of her grandchildren also put a lovely tribute to her on her Facebook page.  That would have meant a lot to Mum to know how these two felt about her.


Friday, July 8, 2016

Neurological conditions

On the News last night they pointed to eleven hundred neurological conditions, none of which have a known cure. Rather frightening. Here they are using boxing classes to help those with Parkinson's disease. One man said that while he didn't expect to live longer he expected to have a better quality of life. It is known that all exercise helps any of these diseases and therefore anything that can help is to be encouraged.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Politics

My goodness so much going on in the world today; Britain has left the EU, Australia can't work out who will be the next government, in the US Donald Trump is taken as a serious contender for President.

Here, in New Zealand, we are a small country in the south of the Southern Hemisphere. What happens in other countries throughout the world effects us. We rely on exports and imports. We only have just over 4 million people here so what happens in other countries is important to us.

I tell George about what is going on. Now he is not capable of any understanding of what is going on. Sometimes I think this is a good way to be. Don't know what is going on and don't care! I guess there are also plenty of people who are like this who do not suffer from dementia. I am reminded of the Hawaiian saying 'don't worry, be happy'. A great mantra for all of us.

I took George some new shoes today. They have a well cushioned sole which I am hoping will help with his mobility.

Watch this space...

Mobility

George's mobility is certainly not as good as it was when he went into the home. Even with the walker he will only go short distances. At the moment he prefers to sit and chat. He loves chocolate milkshakes so I have been taking them into him. It is important that he drinks a lot as he seems to be getting urinary infections. These make people more confused. Mum was the same.

I have found that I am as busy as ever. Going to see George each day takes a considerable chunk out of the day. I am also looking at stuff for the flat such as colour schemes. I am bring home plenty of fliers to try to sort out a few things. I have ordered some things such as a bath and shower. Many people here don't have a bath but there are times when I enjoy one.

I got George some handles to use in the shower. These are held on by suction and are really fantastic. Another carer told me about them and I was skeptical but put two up in the shower and then held on with all my weight and they supported me, no trouble. They are really great. In fact the builder I have was suitably impressed and also wants some!

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Doing his own thing

George has always lived his life to the beat of his own drum. He has always been very slow doing things, he has been rarely on time for anything and he refuses to be hurried. Several decades ago I worked out strategies to get around these idiosyncrasies. I always told him that we had to somewhere at an earlier time than we needed to be somewhere. I NEVER tried to to get him to be quicker - if I did he went slower...

His son always said the only times he was on time was for planes and trains because they won't wait.

He is now training the people in the home. Certainly it is in different ways but he gets up when he wants to get up not at a time that is convenient for anyone else. If the caregiver tries to get him to be quicker while he is having his shower he goes slower and will complain that this or that is sore. 

Yesterday, after they had tried to hurry him he just moved slower and slower with difficulty. They took him to the lounge in a wheelchair - who won that round. I arrived not long afterwards and his mobility was fine! 

One way or another he still goes to the beat of his own drum.