Saturday, March 28, 2015

Not an easy day

Something I find interesting is that each of the people with Alzheimer's display a different sign which shows that they will be more confused than usual. With George it is his bottom lip goes slack. Other people who are not as intimately involved probably will not even notice these signs.

Yesterday it was a bottom lip day. After rushing round taking George to 3 different places associated with helping him I had not had much time at home the day before to do the things that needed to be done here. Unfortunately most of it did not happen yesterday either. When George is like this it is easier to do little bits and then attend to his needs. His language was really bad and he had a lot of difficulty getting his needs articulated. One of the things he wanted was for me to take him to the bank to get money. Mum was always obsessed with money too. I can assure you a lot of money goes missing when they have it....

George is like a prisoner and gets 'stir crazy' if he doesn't go out each day. As I needed a couple of things from the dairy we went out. He wanted to go to Brighton so I took him there. There are not a lot of shops for him there but I took him to a 'That's incredible' shop where he decided he wanted a dress up policeman's hat. He loves it so he added that to his collection of hats...

Friday, March 27, 2015

Make the time and effort

Our whole country has been behind our cricket team. They played South Africa on Tuesday with the winning team progressing to the semi finals in the World Cup. Many people took the afternoon off work to either go to the match or watch it on TV. We won and have now progressed through to the semi finals. We will play this match on Sunday, in Melbourne. This time we are playing against Australia. After the win on Tuesday many people here rushed to get airfares, accommodation and tickets in order to go to this game. In other words people can always make an effort and find the time and money to do what they actually want to do.

This got me thinking about life and about how some people take that time and effort to spend time with their parents at a stage while they are still fit and healthy, particularly after the parents have retired. Some feel that if the parents want to see them they can visit rather than the other way round, this means that they don't need to disrupt their lifestyle or need to spend the time or effort to visit. People come up with many excuses for why they can't visit their parents, for example the cost Or how difficult it is for the to organise some time to visit. Often the reality is that they want to do just what they want to do. Be so careful that you don't leave things until it is too late. To be honest there is not much point leaving it until the person is seriously ill or something similar. It is then too late. It maybe that you can then try to salve your own conscious but that is pretty hard to rationalize.

After my parents retired and came back to Christchurch one of their dearest wishes was to have a family Christmas. It is a deep regret of mine that I was never able to organise this. Another regret that I have is that I was not able to look after Mum at home on my own and needed to put her into care. However, of course I do know that I was always here for them and especially with Mum after Dad died when she was at her most vulnerable. I was also able to provide the financial support to enable her to have the extras while in the home to give her the best quality of life I could and at the same time carry out her wishes.  It must be wonderful to be able to think: well I did everything I could, for me I know that I did certain things but regret not doing others.

Watching the cricket we can see parallels. People can find the time and money to do what they want to do.

People must do what their conscience tells them to and it is nice if you can have fewer regrets when your parents go. It is hard when you know that you did not do things when it was possible.

I urge people to take that time and effort to spend time with their parents before it is too late. 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Problem solved

Realised last night that I forgot to go to Nurse Maud to pick up George's diapers so I will need to fit that in today. I also have to take George to see a friend this morning and then to an Alzheimer's coffe this afternoon. I need to stay with him at these things so that is today written off. This is something that caregivers find; most of their time will be taken up with doing things for and with the person. It is really important to keep routines going which gives the person with Alzheimer's a sense of security.

Since putting the onesie on back the front we have luckily had no more problems at night this week ( thank God ). Problem solved.

Our whole country almost came to a standstill over cricket this week. It is great for everyone to get behind these teams. Although George was highly involved in sports all his life he has now lost interest but enjoys reliving games played years ago.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Birthday

George continues to go up and down. Some days he is difficult to deal with due to his confusion. He had his 81st birthday last weekend and I was able to make it enjoyable for him by taking him out which he loves. I made him a large canvas for his birthday with lots of photos on it. One of his friends, from Australia, rang and said to me afterwards that it was like talking to the old George.

Unfortunately we are now back to wearing the onesie back the front as he got out of it twice in the last week resulting in a bed change.

I have a lovely treat on Sunday night when my grandson came to stay for the night.

Sometimes life seem difficult and you feel very alone and when nothing you do or say is right.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Time runs out...

Something I find, as a carer, is that time runs out. It actually takes quite a bit of doing to look after someone like this. You need to make sure that everything is ready for people coming in and out to dress or change catheters or whatever else. As I have said before there is a lot of time spent waiting for these people and also keeping an eye on the person you are looking after. George needs a constant supply of food all day - breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and finally tea. I used to wonder about that in Mum's home as they do the same in there but they seem to need it.

This morning, when George got up he came out to the lounge and announced that he had been to the bank and they had given him 6 months which was good. I agreed that it was good but had no idea what he meant. He kept walking and I asked where he was going and he pointed to the window and told me the teller was there waiting for him and off he went to the window. He then turned around and smiled and said how good it was she had given him 12 months!!  Satisfied he then wandered down the hall while I got him a coffee and breakfast.

Things can be so strange, one minute he knows what is going on and the next he is in the fantasy worlds. Interestingly enough he still has a lot of short term memory and knows everyone.

He is 81 next Saturday.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Bed

George wriggles around a lot in bed at night. This morning the bed was in a hell of a mess. He had taken the duvet out of the duvet cover (completely), got the sheets (queen size) completely off, got another sheet and put that on top.



Don't know about you but getting that duvet inside a duvet cover is a task all by itself...

I am using a technique I saw on YouTube but I had to repeat it several times as I didn't do it quite right and had to start again. As I have to do everything on my own I have to keep going from side to side, i.e. running to the other side over and over. Quite an exercise and took me ages. 

Monday, March 2, 2015

Being organised

I try to empty George's night bag while he is still asleep first thing in the morning which is a help if he takes the two bags apart.

Something which can be very irritating is when George wakes up during the night and goes walk about. Each night I leave out all the clothes ready for the next day so these are ready for the caregiver in the morning. Unfortunately Goerge will take some of these and put them on over his onesie ( more washing results). I often then need to get more clothes ready in the morning. I am running out of places where to hide thing. It is all pretty random making it difficult to plan around, for example other nights he will pull a whole lot of stuff out of the wardrobe, put some on the floor and put some on for the layered look then back to bed. I have also found him trying to put my clothes on!

With Mum being in a home it has cost me a lot over the last four years and now I need to try to recoup. I have a small contract which pays minimum but every little helps. It also gets me out and gives me something different to do.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

A messy day

Yesterday started with the caregiver coming at 10.45 instead of 9.00. By the time he had George showered and dressed it was nearly lunch time. Then a nurse came to check on the catheter. All is well there.

Finally I took him to Brighton for a coffee as I had promised (while we were waiting for the caregiver! - bribery). Obviously by then the better part of the day had gone. As I went to get a park I saw a tradesman walking back to his van. As he went past I asked him if he was going and he said he was. I thanked him and said I would back into the park. As he drove past me he stopped the van and leaned out of his window and asked if I was single. I shook my head but that was a nice little boost for the old self esteem.We did have a nice time sitting in the sun and having our coffees as well as George's pie.

Tonight he was looking through his memory book. Unfortunately he carefully cut through a page - he seemed to think a photo of my sister was the same person as an old newspaper cutting he had.  I have carefully mended the book and suggested to him not to cut things out until we have talked about it. He has done this before. This is where it is often hard. There is no point in trying to fathom out why they do things  and also there is no point in arguing about it. Just play along with it....

Being independent

As I have said before caregivers spend an awful lot of time waiting on others. This morning George's caregiver was due to arrive well over an hour ago. George had his breakfast and then becamerestlesswandering around. I was doing some work on the-computer when I heard the water running in the shower. I went in there and found the shower on and him, still in his onesie, standing in the sower. Luckily he had the shower head dangling on theshoerfloor so the only thing wet was his feet. I have had to stop what I was doing and sit with him while we continue to

WAIT