This is so hard, you find yourself doing the familiar all the time when that is no longer appropriate. Yesterday I had to go to a mall to a shop to buy something I needed. I found myself wandering around thinking 'that would suit Mum/John'. A few times I went to pick up the item before realising that was something I wouldn't have to do any more! Such finality! Moments like this happen all the time and sometimes I find it hard to face. I know this is normal and will continue for ages but it is hard to deal with.
On my own I find it easier to not discuss it with anyone, others want you to be coping well. It is easier. This is a road we all have to travel.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
A very sad day
Today is a really sad day for Christchurch. Today is the anniversary of the February earthquakes. This happened six years ago and many people died. A new memorial garden was opened for the people who died in the CTV building. This is to be a tranquil place in the middle of the city. Although a lot of work has been done in the city there is still a lot more to be done.
I have been thinking today of what we were doing on the day. From that day things just got progressively worse. We weren't the only ones and many people are still in a state of limbo, hard to believe.
Last night Bruce Springsteen played a concert here and sang 'My city is in ruins'. So touching.
I think that I have just used it as a day for remembering all sorts of things, some good, some not so good.
To night a lovely neighbour brought me over some beautiful whitebait patties, a delicacy here. They were from the West Coast and just wonderful. Just how they should be. Proper homemade ones are so superior to ones you can buy, a lovely end to the day.
I have been thinking today of what we were doing on the day. From that day things just got progressively worse. We weren't the only ones and many people are still in a state of limbo, hard to believe.
Last night Bruce Springsteen played a concert here and sang 'My city is in ruins'. So touching.
I think that I have just used it as a day for remembering all sorts of things, some good, some not so good.
To night a lovely neighbour brought me over some beautiful whitebait patties, a delicacy here. They were from the West Coast and just wonderful. Just how they should be. Proper homemade ones are so superior to ones you can buy, a lovely end to the day.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Difficult post
It is with a heavy heart I am writing this post.
In early February George passed away unexpectedly. As some of you may be aware his name was not really George but in fact was John. He was well known here which is why I used a different name giving me the freedom to tell our lives as we were living it at the time.
John's sons all came to Christchurch for our final farewell to him. I relayed his deteriorating condition in case any of them wished to see him. His eldest son desperately tried to get a flight but was unable to until the Sunday which was too late but I told John he was coming and I am sure he knew. His eldest son, Mark and his partner, Helen, were a wonderful support and helped to organise a 'celebration of John's life'. Although his son lives in Australia he visited regularly and spent some quality time with his dad during the last years of his life, John adored these times. John and I had talked about this time so I knew what he wanted. He was cremated and we held a private celebration of his life. We made it a time of remembrance talking about a wonderful and happy life. This was a private celebration where about 50 family, friends, work colleagues and former All Blacks gathered at a cafe we frequented. He would have loved to have been part of it. We had four speeches; John's eldest son spoke of their family life, his oldest friend spoke of their friendship over a nearly 70 year period, an old All Black spoke about being a player when John was reporting and a work colleague spoke about his career at the Press. (For those of you unfamiliar with All Blacks they are our National rugby team.)
In early February George passed away unexpectedly. As some of you may be aware his name was not really George but in fact was John. He was well known here which is why I used a different name giving me the freedom to tell our lives as we were living it at the time.
John's sons all came to Christchurch for our final farewell to him. I relayed his deteriorating condition in case any of them wished to see him. His eldest son desperately tried to get a flight but was unable to until the Sunday which was too late but I told John he was coming and I am sure he knew. His eldest son, Mark and his partner, Helen, were a wonderful support and helped to organise a 'celebration of John's life'. Although his son lives in Australia he visited regularly and spent some quality time with his dad during the last years of his life, John adored these times. John and I had talked about this time so I knew what he wanted. He was cremated and we held a private celebration of his life. We made it a time of remembrance talking about a wonderful and happy life. This was a private celebration where about 50 family, friends, work colleagues and former All Blacks gathered at a cafe we frequented. He would have loved to have been part of it. We had four speeches; John's eldest son spoke of their family life, his oldest friend spoke of their friendship over a nearly 70 year period, an old All Black spoke about being a player when John was reporting and a work colleague spoke about his career at the Press. (For those of you unfamiliar with All Blacks they are our National rugby team.)
I miss him so much.
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