Confusion

This morning George was very confused. He had his cornflakes for breakfast and then started looking for 'flat things'. It turned out that this was rice bubbles. His confused behaviour continued and I also knew I could not drop him in Brighton today as the coffee shop he goes to is not open. I did not feel happy to leave him home so asked if he wanted to go to mum with me. He just loves going out all the time so immediately jumped at the idea. I went to get milk shakes at Burger King but they did have any. Went to Wendy's in the mall. Very crowded in there but finally got one. I had to also get one for George. People with Alzheimer's are very egocentric, some say like little children but it is a lot more than that.

Mum was very asleep today and only opened her eyes once however I was able to feed it to her with a spoon. She also sucked away on her chocolate which she loves.

George asked me about some of the people and I explained to him that they all have Alzheimer's. He has only a vague understanding that basically he is looking at his future. This is why I am reticent to take him with me but I suspect that it might not be long before he needs someone around.

Be patient

I find that you have to be very patient when caring for those with Alzheimer's. For example a typical morning today. I had a lot of things I needed to do today. George woke before me this morning,not good. The kitchen bench was a mess. He had tried to get his own breakfast. He had got the sugar bowl which was half full of sugar. He filled it with cornflakes and then filled it with milk, overflowing all over the place!

After getting dressed (with the caregiver) he was ready to go, but no! He changed his shoes,wanted gloves (very hot day), and various other things.  It is impossible to hurry him. He was always incredibly slow but now...

Memory

Something I have been lucky to have all my life is a good memory (not photographic - as a child I remember thinking this would be advantageous for exams). Quite a few friends I went to school with will email or phone me with queries and they always say how I had a good memory and they know that I will remember. I have always found it strange that people don't remember when they start talking about it.

I am not sure why this is. I know that some people have very selective memories and only remember what they want to remember or what is most advantageous to them. Just like two people can be involved in the same event but have a very different perspective on it.

Others 'do not clutter their minds with trivia'...

George had a good memory for sports facts and about games he had watched as well as a good general knowledge. I wander if this is helping him now?

I wander if this will help to stave off Alzheimer's? I haven't found anything to support this but it would be interesting.

Mind you having said all that I do find that I am rushing around everywhere trying to get things done and organised and tend then to dump things of my own down and then can't remember where I have put them!!!

I organise something and then am out in the garden or mowing lawns or tidying another part of the house and the next thing George has stuff everywhere again so it starts again. This is called 'multitasking' on my part - trying to please so many people and feeling like I am pleasing none.

Loss

I lost my cat this week which was very distressing. I was not going to  get another one but realised that I need one - someone I can talk to and love which does help with the isolation I can feel at times. I was lucky to get one who had been with a elderly woman who had since died so this cat no longer had a home. Obviously she needed a home without other animals or children. She is settling in well.

George is pretty much the same. He loves to socialise so really doesn't like just staying home which frankly I need to do a bit more to get the house and gardens done (as well as trying to deal with people re the property issues) - while I do this he will slump on the couch and go to sleep.

Something I have found with those with Alzheimer's (both Mum and George anyway) is that when they want something they want it now... I have therefore found that no matter what I am doing I need to stop it and attend to those needs first.

George has been losing language and when he is describing something he uses his hands:

e.g. he was describing something to eat

long and green thing (showed a length with his hands)

Me: Bean
no
Peas
no
Asparagus
Yes that is it

I find more and more I need to guess which is something I have had to do with mum for ages now. It can get very frustrating for them and in particular mum would get upset if I didn't know what she wanted to say.

Another thing is follow you around, talking (and wanting a response), while you are trying to get work done. This happens frequently - George loves socialising...

The future

One of the friends George has made at various Alzheimer's groups is Tom. Tom and his wife Jane came to New Zealand to be with their son and grandchildren.  Until recently Tom was able to drive and the two of them coped very well at home.

Unfortunately they were out walking and Jane fell over. She knocked her head and died... (I guess another earthquake tragedy as this was due to the rotten state of the footpaths). She was buried this week. Poor Tom is feeling very lost. The son, who lives in Rangiora with his family, does not want Tom to be living there. His daughter flew from the UK for the funeral and doesn't want to take Tom back with her. He is not able to be safe on his own especially at the moment. He is being put into a Home tomorrow. It is so sad as he is losing so much at one time and being put with people he doesn't know.

It is so interesting how many people do not have family support to enable them to live in the community for longer. This is what would happen to George if something happens to me and it is what will happen to me.

One thing I fully realise and am grateful for is that mum did not have to go into a home earlier as she was living next door to me.

All we can do is take one step at a time.

Doing something for yourself

It is important to have 'me' time as a caregiver. Unfortunately I am in the situation where I have the two people with Alzheimer's (one in a home) and no other family here. Many of my  friends have left Christchurch or are still working. I do have coffee with friends when they are available.

I am going to volunteer to teach reading to prisoners to enable them to read to their children. I feel passionate about this as research shows that children who read with their fathers significantly helps with their reading. It also means that I can feel as though I am doing something useful.

Don't turn your back

I have to watch everything very carefully. George eats everything he can find. Today I was defrosting some shrimps for tea (luckily cooked). I was out in the garden, came in to find him eating his way through them!! This happens all the time. I find that I have to hide things more and more (he goes through all sorts of places however).

He loves his Harakeke club and looks forward to going each week which is great. By the time I take him there and pick him up it does not give me a lot of time for myself but every little is appreciated. I also go to visit mum while he is there.

He still drinks quite a bit and because he was told about 'red wine' he doesn't understand that that actually means all alcohol. He therefore thinks it is OK to drink any other alcohol. He generally drinks about a bottle of white wine a day or 2 or three premixed gin and tonics.