A spring in the step

George has been very good over the last week and we have had lots of conversations about his son's visit. He also keeps asking when he is coming back as he obviously remembers that he is coming. He is quite happy when I tell him it is isn't for a little while and I will tell him when.

Today when I went in he was dozing in a chair and although he woke up straight away he was not very 'with it'. He needed a shave and when I gave him the shaver he just dropped it down. I shaved him with lots of moaning and groaning going on, however we got there. He did enjoy his milkshake. I also take in large bottles of drink for him, just as I did with Mum. His language was often jumbled and not very coherent. Getting him to the table for lunch was a mission.

I was feeling pretty down when I left the home. On the way home I stopped to get petrol. Here oldies get 8 cents a litre off when they use their Gold Card. When I went to pay the bill the young man serving (in his twenties) looked at the card, looked at me and looked at the card and looked at me. After doing this a few times I asked if there was something wrong. He said 'well you can't have had this card long'. I did not tell him he needed to go to Specsavers and  left that garage with a spring in my step!

I have been laughing as I have been reading some of Paul's blog. He has said how he feels at the patronizing way some people speak to him. I feel exactly the same way! So do the people with Alzheimer's. I hear people saying that looking after those with dementia is like looking after a child! WRONG. Talking to them as though they are a child is the best way to get their backs up. Mum used to get so upset and would often ask me to explain to others that she was intelligent and knew what she was talking about (even when she didn't). You need to take what they say with dignity and respect and accept that this is their reality and talk to them as though that is exactly what it is.

From: https://nz.pinterest.com/kathielangford/nursing-homes/ 

Rugby World Cup

During his working life George wrote a lot about rugby and toured a lot with the All Blacks. He loves to watch the games but quickly loses patience as he has no idea of what is going on. In order for him to enjoy it and feel that he has 'watched' it, I need to sit with him and tell him what is going on - I do not know much about rugby but I simplify what the announcer is saying and that keeps George happy and contented.

Tonight one of George's sons rang which he loved as he hasn't heard from him for some time. It is a year since any of them have seen him. It is important to keep in close contact even if you are separated by living in another city or country. It is important to try to get to see them regularly as before you know it the opportunity has gone.

A good sleep and plenty to eat

George had a good sleep last night and did not wake up until 8.30 this morning which is extremely unusual for him these days. He is having a good day and is very lucid. At the moment he is talking (on FaceTime) to one of his son's in Australia. He loves doing this although he needs to be reminded that he needs to stay in front of the iPad and not move around (I wouldn't dream of letting him carry the iPad around). He has also been wandering up and down the flat today with his walker - it is his exercise he tells me.

I took him down to Brighton while I got a couple of things done and he loves doing this. I have got him 3 milk shakes a lot of biscuits (for morning tea) and two ham rolls for lunch.

Mum was the same - they like what they like and won't eat something if they don't like it but boy can they put it away.

At the moment we have plenty of monarch butterfly caterpillars in the garden and boy can they eat!! The remind me of George and Mum and also a great children's book 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'.

Keeping things safe

Both George and Mum love things to death and consequently destroy them. I have just found a lovely cutting which was a story about George when he retired from work and unfortunately has now been cut up. Such a shame.

Several years ago there was a chapter in a book which included a chapter about George. I bought copies of this book and gave them to each of his sons, I am not sure how they felt but I hope they enjoyed these and felt proud of their father, of course they can also share these with their own children.

Something both George and Mum have loved are books I have had published about them. They have both been very proud of these and love sharing them with others. Money well spent. I have found that it is very important to put in small details with the photos outlining who is in the photo and where the photo was taken. There are several places on the web where you can do these. My beautiful grandsons have both asked me to do some for them. They take quite a while to get the photos organised and then do the layout but well worth it.

Differences between days

Today someone else was going to see Mum but again couldn't because they might be having carpet laid. I am thankful I went as Mum was wide awake and grabbing at things. This is the sort of day where I think she may recognise if someone doesn't go and see her, I am not sure. I took George with me as he hadn't been out for a couple of days and he likes to go out every day if possible - he gets 'stir crazy' otherwise. I am always reticent about taking him as one day it will penetrate that that is where he is headed.

I recognise that I would feel guilty if I didn't go and I feel bad enough that I am not doing a good enough job without adding that to the mix. I certainly envy those with the confidence to know that what they do is right and do not feel this way.

Mum looked at me twice and straight away said my name. She also recognised George and her eyes lit up and she tried to say his name and grasped his hand. He took in some of his cuttings to show her and I tried to tell him she would destroy them; he didn't listen and she did. I massaged her arms, hands, feet and legs with lavender oil which she enjoyed. We looked at photos and videos and I chatted about our life. I read her nursery rhymes which she enjoys. That seems to relax her. It is important to keep things pretty quiet and just go slow and relaxed when dealing with her.

She likes to drink through a straw and will not have a bar of a sipper cup.

I feel so sorry for the caregivers in the Home, they are fantastic but often work under trying conditions; for example the dishwasher in the back lounge has been broken for three weeks and is not yet fixed. These things mean less time spent with the residents.

In addition I had to go to Nurse Maud to get continence pads for George and go to a chemist to price some medication Mum has been put on. The Home will be charging her for these so I am looking to see if they are cheaper somewhere else.

When we returned home I was busy and George:

1. got out rolls of wrapping paper and completely unwrapped them for the cardboard
2. poured himself a wine and didn't turn the tap off resulting in red wine over the floor and bench

What do you put on your cornflakes?

Yesterday morning I put George's cornflakes out ready for him. Luckily I watched him. He got out a ready mix bottle of gin and tonic. I was able to stop him and he got out the milk when I told him to and put those on...

He went to his club for the day while I went to see Mum. She was asleep while she drank a chocolate milkshake and then she woke up and stayed pretty alert while I was there. I did her hair as she enjoys that and then massaged her hands. I have bought some lavender oil to do that. We chatted about the old days,looked at videos and I read nursery rhymes.

Rugby

The match between Australia and New Zealand was televised last night at 11.30 so George stayed up to watch it. He loves the rugby and so it is great that he still has the concentration to watch a whole game.

He got himself a snack - left jars with lids off on the bench. I think he enjoyed it and it is now 10.30 a.m. and he is still asleep!!

 I am pleased that he is getting the sleep he requires.