back to normal

George's son left Sunday afternoon. What a wonderful visit for George.

It does amaze me how quickly they change from day to day. Just when things are going really well the condition makes itself known again.

Yesterday, when I went in, I sat next to him. George was dozing. When I touched his arm he looked at me and said, "I went to school with him". We then spent at least half an hour talking about his school friends. It took me ages to turn the conversation around to the visit. He did perk up and gradually we talked about what we had done. I find that sometimes he remembers things but always I keep talking about this type of thing so he doesn't forget his friends and family.

This video is just about New Zealanders, also known as Kiwis. Just a bit of light relief I found on youtube and downloaded to show George. 

Organizing ourselves

George has had his eldest son here for the last three days. they have spent so much quality time together. We took everything pretty slow and he was very much part of the conversation and was quite lucid most of the time. There were times when he was not totally coherent but we just went with the flow and he seemed to come back on track.

During this time George's son also had various things to do while he was here so we organized it all and it worked out really well. Lovely for me too to have someone to chat to and to show the building repairs to...

Yesterday was the last day and George was tired out. We stayed in the home with him and while he would wake and chat he showed no desire to move. The two of them shared a bottle of red wine which George loved.

It is so lovely to have these family times as George's son will have this lovely memory to take away with him of the wonderful time they spent together. 

Enjoying family times

George's eldest son is over from Aussi at the moment.

When we arrived at the home today he was asleep. Initially he only saw me but couldn't remember names. We took him out to Honeys cafe. He loved it and with the attention became less confused.  He had a lovely time. We got back to the home in time for Happy Hour and we left him ready for a red wine. There were several visitors in the lounge and we all had a great chat. It was lovely the real sense of 'a group of friends enjoying each other's company' from everyone. I think the fact that the visitors were seated right around the room and we were all contributing to the conversation and joking. All the residents were joining in. Just lovely to see.  This provided a great quality of life for all of them today.

When we got back I asked George to open the car door while his son got the walker out. George opened the door and promptly shut it again.  He didn't know what to do once the door was open. He repeated this three times. Finally we managed to keep it open.

One of the other residents, Barney, was waiting at the door when we arrived. We sat down until he moved away. We went inside with a carer. Barney was at the other end of the hall, heard the door opening...  He turned, and with his walker ran down the hall to get out of the door before it closed. Luckily he didn't make it.

We try to be careful that we do not tire George while we are out. Tomorrow we are taking him out again.

Instead of a home

I love this video from Positive Energy

The cost of keeping people in a home is horrific. Unfortunately many a true word is spoke in jest.

Where does the time go?

I don't have the answer to that question.

I thought that I would have more time now but it is not working out that way.

I go to see George most days and it is good if I am there for some of the lunch time. This is when the major meal of the day is served. George can no longer use cutlery properly. I ensure that all his vegetables are cut up, the carers do cut up the meat but he needs everything cut up so it is left. I also need to tell him how much he likes the various meals, then he will eat the meal quite happily. Unfortunately the carers can't do all that one on one for each person so often many do not eat enough.

George's home caters for rest home level and dementia but not hospital level care. A fall often results in a stay in hospital followed by a move to another home catering for hospital level care. It is something I need to think about for the future.

Last weekend George's youngest son visited for a couple of hours on the Sunday. He had not seen George for over 18 months. George was having a good day as he had slept in that morning. They had a good time looking at old movies about the family.

This weekend his eldest son is visiting for a few days which is great. With the two of us we can take him out. With his poor mobility it is easier with two of us and the risk of a fall is reduced.

The following weekend I am going away to visit my grandchildren. They have missed out on my visits and it is important that I get to see them. We are in contact via Instagram and regular phone calls but it is not the same.

So hard when you are pulled in so many directions. It is especially hard when families live so far apart.

Ask a stupid question...

Most of the time, when I visit, George is accepting of what is happening and appears happy. 

This week I nearly burst into tears. 

George was OK when I first went in and we chatted about various things as George had some chocolates. He was rather confused but reasonably happy. He then got up and started walking using his walker.

"Darling, where would you like to go?" I asked. 

To my horror I watched as his face crumbled and he nearly burst into tears as he whimpered, "I want to go home". 

I quickly started talking and saying about how our house was being fixed after the earthquakes. He calmed down and we walked down to the lounge. 

This is the first time he has said anything about home. 

I felt awful for the rest of the day. There are times when it is very demoralizing, very sad. You can only do your best and everyone needs to be safe and well cared for. Unfortunately the time does come when one person is not enough to look after the needs of a person with Alzheimer's.