back to normal

George's son left Sunday afternoon. What a wonderful visit for George.

It does amaze me how quickly they change from day to day. Just when things are going really well the condition makes itself known again.

Yesterday, when I went in, I sat next to him. George was dozing. When I touched his arm he looked at me and said, "I went to school with him". We then spent at least half an hour talking about his school friends. It took me ages to turn the conversation around to the visit. He did perk up and gradually we talked about what we had done. I find that sometimes he remembers things but always I keep talking about this type of thing so he doesn't forget his friends and family.

This video is just about New Zealanders, also known as Kiwis. Just a bit of light relief I found on youtube and downloaded to show George. 

A busy social week for George

the day after his birthday George went to his club. They had a cake and sang Happy birthday to him. When they presented him with the cake he had tears in his eyes! He felt very special.

The next day we went to the Botanical Gardens to meet one of his old school friends. This friend was visiting from Perth, although he has lived there since the 1970s New Zealand is still where his roots are and he comes back every year and travels around and catches up with old friends, really nice. He also taught me at high school. We had coffee and something to eat. As George prefers to speak to one person on his own I went for a wander around the Gardens some of the time.

The following day George went to his club again. The have noticed how frail he is becoming and don't know how much longer he can keep going there which is another real worry for me.

Friday was Easter Friday. George had a quiet day which he needed. To keep him as contented and 'with it' as possible it is best to keep good routines and not get overtired which can happen very easily.

Yesterday was Saturday and George's youngest son was able to fly down in an airforce plane and arranged to meet George at a coffee shop for an hour before returning to Auckland.  George loved seeing him as it was two years since his last visit to see his Dad. The books I have made for him with photos helps him to remember people he doesn't see for a long time. It was the same with Mum. It is so important to see your family regularly as once they have gone you have lost your opportunity.

Today, Easter Sunday, George was delighted that the Easter Bunny had been and cheerfully ate a lot of chocolate.

A difficult time

After I wrote my blog yesterday I took George to his memory group and arrived at Mum's home by 10 a.m. I took her in a milk shake as I thought I could feed her that with a spoon. Unfortunately she had suffered a major stroke and her left side was no longer working and she was not able to swallow. One of the staff had the milk shake. I sat and stroked her hands and face with lavender oil and a homeopathic remedy. I felt she knew I was there but that may have been wishful thinking.

I collected George at lunch time and took him home gave him lunch and settled him with a DVD, afternoon tea and photo albums. I let a neighbour know so she could look in on him. I rang my sisters in Australia and they organised flights to come straight over and a motel by Mum's home. I went back and sat with Mum for the afternoon. The doctor came in and said it was terminal and has given her drugs for pain and anxiety. Our main aim now is to keep her pain free and as comfortable as possible. Luckily she has a living will with her wishes in it so any sort of treatment now is out of the question. This is such a cruel end and certainly makes one query about euthanasia. No animal would be made to suffer in this condition. Unfortunately Mum's heart is strong and she is a fighter which is to her detriment just now.

Many of the caregivers in the home came in to give her a kiss or a cuddle which was lovely. They regard her as a member of their family.

I returned home to give George his tea, change and clean him and get him ready for bed. I put on a movie for him and hurried back to the home where I stayed until about 2 a.m. When the two sisters arrived. I came home but had difficulty sleeping.

We have agreed to ensure that Mum is not alone at all and are doing shifts. George is blissfully unaware of the reality of the situation although he knows what is going on. I have to ensure all his needs are met before I leave. Luckily he does not go away but I do know I will come home to an unholy mess. He pulls things down from the top of the wardrobe, moves all his shoes/slippers to the middle of the lounge, pulls out and cuts up pictures and photos for example. I guess it is a small price to pay. How lovely it would be to have others to help with some of this.

Old friends

George and three others he went to school with have remained close friends over the years. We found out yesterday that one of these friends has just died. He had Parkinson disease but was still at home. This is the second of the four in the last couple of years. The other one now. Lives in Tauranga. He was the one who luckily rang to let us know of this death for which I am very grateful as I did not look at the paper and we may have missed it. This made me realise how important it is that old friends are notified at the times. George would have been devastated if he had missed the funeral. George is very upset about this and I will take him to the funeral on Monday. There are others who George went to school with who he hears from regularly, one lives in Perth while the others are scattered around. Unfortunately most have now passed on.

It was very hot here yesterday and I have found that the hot weather tires out both Mum and George. After I got home from seeing Mum yesterday I got George some lunch and a milk shake and then he decided to go to bed for a nanny nap. At the home I was not able to wake Mum up for very long. When she did,briefly, wake up her eyes were not seeing me or her surroundings but were focused on something we can't see.