Where does the time go?

I don't have the answer to that question.

I thought that I would have more time now but it is not working out that way.

I go to see George most days and it is good if I am there for some of the lunch time. This is when the major meal of the day is served. George can no longer use cutlery properly. I ensure that all his vegetables are cut up, the carers do cut up the meat but he needs everything cut up so it is left. I also need to tell him how much he likes the various meals, then he will eat the meal quite happily. Unfortunately the carers can't do all that one on one for each person so often many do not eat enough.

George's home caters for rest home level and dementia but not hospital level care. A fall often results in a stay in hospital followed by a move to another home catering for hospital level care. It is something I need to think about for the future.

Last weekend George's youngest son visited for a couple of hours on the Sunday. He had not seen George for over 18 months. George was having a good day as he had slept in that morning. They had a good time looking at old movies about the family.

This weekend his eldest son is visiting for a few days which is great. With the two of us we can take him out. With his poor mobility it is easier with two of us and the risk of a fall is reduced.

The following weekend I am going away to visit my grandchildren. They have missed out on my visits and it is important that I get to see them. We are in contact via Instagram and regular phone calls but it is not the same.

So hard when you are pulled in so many directions. It is especially hard when families live so far apart.

Yesterday I saw that the caregivers have not been doing a good job with his shaving. I made an appointment for him at a groom room. While we were waiting I watched as they gave two guys hair cuts. As part of the treatment they had scalp massages and then a shoulder/neck massage to finish - talk about pampering. He had a razor cut but was very tense throughout. The woman who did it was very good. I have booked him in for a hair cut in a couple of weeks. The price is about the same as his regular barber and so much nicer.

Got home to a massive flood! The dishwasher had started up all n its own and flooded the place. It took me ages to find the plug and turn it off. Got it off thank goodness and got someone in to look at it. They have taken it away to try to repair it - fingers crossed.

Let me tell you it is no fun trying to clean up with George making demands all the time.

I bought a new magazine today - guess what? It has mysteriously vanished into thin air. I suspect it is now cut up and I didn't see any of it...

Not an easy day

Something I find interesting is that each of the people with Alzheimer's display a different sign which shows that they will be more confused than usual. With George it is his bottom lip goes slack. Other people who are not as intimately involved probably will not even notice these signs.

Yesterday it was a bottom lip day. After rushing round taking George to 3 different places associated with helping him I had not had much time at home the day before to do the things that needed to be done here. Unfortunately most of it did not happen yesterday either. When George is like this it is easier to do little bits and then attend to his needs. His language was really bad and he had a lot of difficulty getting his needs articulated. One of the things he wanted was for me to take him to the bank to get money. Mum was always obsessed with money too. I can assure you a lot of money goes missing when they have it....

George is like a prisoner and gets 'stir crazy' if he doesn't go out each day. As I needed a couple of things from the dairy we went out. He wanted to go to Brighton so I took him there. There are not a lot of shops for him there but I took him to a 'That's incredible' shop where he decided he wanted a dress up policeman's hat. He loves it so he added that to his collection of hats...

Non verbal clues

George knows how to show exactly what he wants without saying a word.

Towards evening George often feels it is time for tea. He will go and sit at the table with an expectant look on his face. I admit it often makes me feel pressured.

At the weekend I had made arrangements to meet an old friend who I had not seen for twenty years. We arranged to meet in Brighton which is a pretty quiet place. The Main Street has a 'slow', one way street with judder bars going down. This makes it very safe. There is a park straight across the road and a crossing for us to walk across. George wanted to come so off we went. We sat outside in the sun which was lovely. George ate his cinnamon scone and drank his drink. He was obviously bored with our conversation which of course was a catch up. He quietly stood up with his walking stick and moved over to the crossing. He looked to see if there were any cars and sauntered across the road. He then stood by the car. It reminded me of kids getting fed up with a game and 'taking their bat and ball and going home' when they aren't winning. Naturally I had to leave. Both Mum and George want the attention centred around them and have trouble if it isn't. They need the attention and stimulation. Admittedly there are plenty of people without Alzheimer's who expect to be the centre of attention. It is something you get used to but can be irritating when you are trying to do something for yourself.

They are quite demanding of your time and energy without meaning to be.