A difficult time

After I wrote my blog yesterday I took George to his memory group and arrived at Mum's home by 10 a.m. I took her in a milk shake as I thought I could feed her that with a spoon. Unfortunately she had suffered a major stroke and her left side was no longer working and she was not able to swallow. One of the staff had the milk shake. I sat and stroked her hands and face with lavender oil and a homeopathic remedy. I felt she knew I was there but that may have been wishful thinking.

I collected George at lunch time and took him home gave him lunch and settled him with a DVD, afternoon tea and photo albums. I let a neighbour know so she could look in on him. I rang my sisters in Australia and they organised flights to come straight over and a motel by Mum's home. I went back and sat with Mum for the afternoon. The doctor came in and said it was terminal and has given her drugs for pain and anxiety. Our main aim now is to keep her pain free and as comfortable as possible. Luckily she has a living will with her wishes in it so any sort of treatment now is out of the question. This is such a cruel end and certainly makes one query about euthanasia. No animal would be made to suffer in this condition. Unfortunately Mum's heart is strong and she is a fighter which is to her detriment just now.

Many of the caregivers in the home came in to give her a kiss or a cuddle which was lovely. They regard her as a member of their family.

I returned home to give George his tea, change and clean him and get him ready for bed. I put on a movie for him and hurried back to the home where I stayed until about 2 a.m. When the two sisters arrived. I came home but had difficulty sleeping.

We have agreed to ensure that Mum is not alone at all and are doing shifts. George is blissfully unaware of the reality of the situation although he knows what is going on. I have to ensure all his needs are met before I leave. Luckily he does not go away but I do know I will come home to an unholy mess. He pulls things down from the top of the wardrobe, moves all his shoes/slippers to the middle of the lounge, pulls out and cuts up pictures and photos for example. I guess it is a small price to pay. How lovely it would be to have others to help with some of this.