Mum

Mum died on Monday morning while my sister was with her. After my sisters arrived they came to the home and took over being with Mum. That was to ensure that she was not on her own at any time.

After four years is finally at peace. It is a time when I feel so relieved for her as well as an overwhelming sadness as she was 'me mum'.

In my family there are three girls. While my dad would have loved a son he got three great daughters and then three grandsons as well as three grand daughters. We were lucky as my parents did not have favourites. I remember asking mum about this and she told me that she loved each of her children equally although maybe differently as they each had different personalities. I remember when I became a mother a lot of things like this made sense and I understood what she meant.

Death is a time when people react differently. Some people feel that they are under pressure which is a very normal reaction but it is important not to take it out on other family members - work together; remember that this is a time to come together and work together. It should be a time for remembersnce to celebrate a life well lived, it is not about anyone else however it is always difficult as you are often unsure over whether what you are doing is the right thing, all you can do is your best, we all make mistakes.

Because of all that has been going on George's routines are way out. I have been dashing around with things relating to Mum and the rest of the time have been here on my own with him trying to maintain routines, not very successfully. My sisters are together in a motel which is near my mum's home. George has been getting very confused over this time so I have arranged to take him in for respite so that I can concentrate on mum and what she would want. I take him there this morning. My son arrives this afternoon and is staying with me so it will be so nice to have someone to talk to about things.

We are not having a funeral but we are having a celebration for her to celebrate a life well lived. We have invited people who were important to her. I am sure she will love this.

I think that what everyone has to do at anytime what their own conscience tells them is right. As mum would say to me, at the end of the day you are the one who has to live with what you do or don't do, no one else.