It is well known that those caring for a family member suffering from Alzheimer's often experience depression. Some research points to this being true whether the person is at home or in a home. I guess a part of this is that when someone goes into a home the career suffers an incredible amount of guilt as they "weren't able to cope better'. While this may not be true when someone is in the throes of depression they probably will not see it as such. Bergman-Evans says that every day holds unexpected challenges and loss of personal control and that both emotional and physical health are at risk.
Other people don't want to know about this, I guess that is to be expected as they want to live their own lives.
Here many people are also suffering depression due to the earthquakes we have had. This has caused major loss for many people here and counsellors are still working very hard helping these people which is still being discussed in the community. We also have many ads on TV urging those suffering from depression to tell others, friends and family, about it.
I know that for at least the first two years after the earthquakes I was certainly suffering depression caused by many things happening in my life (many of these things resulting in losses). I definitely found that my health suffered both emotionally and physically. This was the first time I had ever suffered from asthma. I have frequently felt completely overwhelmed by everything. I found it hard to talk to anyone especially as someone actually told me that they didn't like talking to me as I sounded as though I was sorry for myself. Most people here were in similar situations and many had been traumatised during one of the earthquakes. I also found it very difficult as the only family members here were ones with Alzheimer's so that wasn't much help to me. Although in reality I knew that a lot of things would eventually work out it is hard to keep that in mind. It took me a long time to work through it all pretty much on my own.
I knew I had to keep going for Mum and George so that made me get out of bed in the mornings. I took any contract work that was offered which gave me a sense of 'normality'. I have done voluntary work in the community right through, this gives you a sense that you have something that is valued by others. I try to meet a friend for coffee once a week and just chat about any old thing, not important things just light-hearted. I got myself a new cat; so I could love it and she could love me.
Some people we also know, through my sister, are a couple. The wife works and also is one of the visitors for my mother. The husband has had a very bad back requiring two major surgeries which has meant that he has been house bound for over two years. He has been in pain and bored being on his own so much so we try to visit him weekly and always take cream cakes or sponges for a treat for him and George (I always take enough for the others in the house to have that night) which of course costs me quite a bit. He and George enjoy talking together. Before this he was a caregiver. I sometimes leave them while I get a bit of shopping done. This takes his mind off his own situation, gives him someone to talk to and also we are claiming for him looking after George so that he gets a small allowance. This then helps his self esteem. Of course this makes me feel that I am helping someone else.
I guess what I am saying here is that for the caregiver you are often 'on your own' so you have to create the opportunities for yourself.
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