When you are caring for a person with Alzheimer's the career will find that their life needs to work to a routine. My life with George certainly is. I find that I am dashing around all the time taking him to and picking him up from various activities. Some of these I am expected to stay while others this means that I may have an hour or two to myself which unfortunately is not enough time to go home but is time to have a coffee or something.
I often have to leave the washing going when I leave in the morning. The first thing I need to do when I get home is get that washing out.
I find it best to organise George's clothes ready for the next day before I go to bed. I do this after I have got him into bed.
Something I do find difficult at the moment is that I have broken a tooth and am trying to dash in and out to get this seen to. I have been asked if I want a sedative and of course have had to say I can't as I can't risk it and have no one to help me if I need it. These are issues for all caregivers.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Eerie
In my mother's home was a woman named Christne. Her husband visited regularly a couple of times each week (he regarded staff there as his family) and both he and I would be at the home during Christmas dinner. He then went to family for the afternoon and then tea. He had a heart complaint and had been in hospital several times (staff would go and visit him there) and had been hoping for some time that she would predecess him as he was worried that she would not have regular visitors. We have ensured that someone sees our mother every day and she has a massage once a week. While I do pay people to go to see Mum it is worth it as having visitors provides a quality of life.
He died on Friday. Christine had been very ill for over a week and her son had been in to the home regularly during this time. The day after he died another of their sons had just flown in from his home and went in to see Christine and he told her that her husband had died and that she could now go to meet him. She appeared to understand and he had seen recognition in her eyes. 5 minutes later she died.
There is so much we don't understand.
He died on Friday. Christine had been very ill for over a week and her son had been in to the home regularly during this time. The day after he died another of their sons had just flown in from his home and went in to see Christine and he told her that her husband had died and that she could now go to meet him. She appeared to understand and he had seen recognition in her eyes. 5 minutes later she died.
There is so much we don't understand.
Hat
George wears a hat all the time. He puts a hat on to move around the house, he puts a hat on to go out, he puts a hat on to go outside. Now he puts a hat on (and sleeps with it on) to go to bed!!
Those with Alzheimer's often have behaviours which they repeat over and over for no apparent reason.
Something both Mum and George have in common: Mum went through many packets of tissues, twisting them around in her hands, George brings large pieces of toilet paper which he twists and discards - I find it everywhere. Mum no longer does this but it does seem to relieve anxiety in these people.
I find it best to just let them do these things and go round behind and pick it up. This saves arguments or frustration.
Those with Alzheimer's often have behaviours which they repeat over and over for no apparent reason.
Something both Mum and George have in common: Mum went through many packets of tissues, twisting them around in her hands, George brings large pieces of toilet paper which he twists and discards - I find it everywhere. Mum no longer does this but it does seem to relieve anxiety in these people.
I find it best to just let them do these things and go round behind and pick it up. This saves arguments or frustration.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Depression for Caregivers
It is well known that those caring for a family member suffering from Alzheimer's often experience depression. Some research points to this being true whether the person is at home or in a home. I guess a part of this is that when someone goes into a home the career suffers an incredible amount of guilt as they "weren't able to cope better'. While this may not be true when someone is in the throes of depression they probably will not see it as such. Bergman-Evans says that every day holds unexpected challenges and loss of personal control and that both emotional and physical health are at risk.
Other people don't want to know about this, I guess that is to be expected as they want to live their own lives.
Here many people are also suffering depression due to the earthquakes we have had. This has caused major loss for many people here and counsellors are still working very hard helping these people which is still being discussed in the community. We also have many ads on TV urging those suffering from depression to tell others, friends and family, about it.
I know that for at least the first two years after the earthquakes I was certainly suffering depression caused by many things happening in my life (many of these things resulting in losses). I definitely found that my health suffered both emotionally and physically. This was the first time I had ever suffered from asthma. I have frequently felt completely overwhelmed by everything. I found it hard to talk to anyone especially as someone actually told me that they didn't like talking to me as I sounded as though I was sorry for myself. Most people here were in similar situations and many had been traumatised during one of the earthquakes. I also found it very difficult as the only family members here were ones with Alzheimer's so that wasn't much help to me. Although in reality I knew that a lot of things would eventually work out it is hard to keep that in mind. It took me a long time to work through it all pretty much on my own.
I knew I had to keep going for Mum and George so that made me get out of bed in the mornings. I took any contract work that was offered which gave me a sense of 'normality'. I have done voluntary work in the community right through, this gives you a sense that you have something that is valued by others. I try to meet a friend for coffee once a week and just chat about any old thing, not important things just light-hearted. I got myself a new cat; so I could love it and she could love me.
Some people we also know, through my sister, are a couple. The wife works and also is one of the visitors for my mother. The husband has had a very bad back requiring two major surgeries which has meant that he has been house bound for over two years. He has been in pain and bored being on his own so much so we try to visit him weekly and always take cream cakes or sponges for a treat for him and George (I always take enough for the others in the house to have that night) which of course costs me quite a bit. He and George enjoy talking together. Before this he was a caregiver. I sometimes leave them while I get a bit of shopping done. This takes his mind off his own situation, gives him someone to talk to and also we are claiming for him looking after George so that he gets a small allowance. This then helps his self esteem. Of course this makes me feel that I am helping someone else.
I guess what I am saying here is that for the caregiver you are often 'on your own' so you have to create the opportunities for yourself.
Other people don't want to know about this, I guess that is to be expected as they want to live their own lives.
Here many people are also suffering depression due to the earthquakes we have had. This has caused major loss for many people here and counsellors are still working very hard helping these people which is still being discussed in the community. We also have many ads on TV urging those suffering from depression to tell others, friends and family, about it.
I know that for at least the first two years after the earthquakes I was certainly suffering depression caused by many things happening in my life (many of these things resulting in losses). I definitely found that my health suffered both emotionally and physically. This was the first time I had ever suffered from asthma. I have frequently felt completely overwhelmed by everything. I found it hard to talk to anyone especially as someone actually told me that they didn't like talking to me as I sounded as though I was sorry for myself. Most people here were in similar situations and many had been traumatised during one of the earthquakes. I also found it very difficult as the only family members here were ones with Alzheimer's so that wasn't much help to me. Although in reality I knew that a lot of things would eventually work out it is hard to keep that in mind. It took me a long time to work through it all pretty much on my own.
I knew I had to keep going for Mum and George so that made me get out of bed in the mornings. I took any contract work that was offered which gave me a sense of 'normality'. I have done voluntary work in the community right through, this gives you a sense that you have something that is valued by others. I try to meet a friend for coffee once a week and just chat about any old thing, not important things just light-hearted. I got myself a new cat; so I could love it and she could love me.
Some people we also know, through my sister, are a couple. The wife works and also is one of the visitors for my mother. The husband has had a very bad back requiring two major surgeries which has meant that he has been house bound for over two years. He has been in pain and bored being on his own so much so we try to visit him weekly and always take cream cakes or sponges for a treat for him and George (I always take enough for the others in the house to have that night) which of course costs me quite a bit. He and George enjoy talking together. Before this he was a caregiver. I sometimes leave them while I get a bit of shopping done. This takes his mind off his own situation, gives him someone to talk to and also we are claiming for him looking after George so that he gets a small allowance. This then helps his self esteem. Of course this makes me feel that I am helping someone else.
I guess what I am saying here is that for the caregiver you are often 'on your own' so you have to create the opportunities for yourself.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Hide and seek
Something I find really difficult with George's incontinence is that he does still use the toilet during the day. This of course is when he often gets it all over the floor or he will come back out with his pull ups and long pants in one hand. He rarely flushes the toilet so I do go in regularly to flush the toilet and wash the floor which isn't too bad I guess however;
Hide and seek: something George also does is come out with only his long pants as he has hidden the continence pull ups. You may think it should be easy to find them but that is not nessessarily so. I can spend a lot of time finding them and of course there is another load of washing.
Baby wipes are also needed constantly.
Hide and seek: something George also does is come out with only his long pants as he has hidden the continence pull ups. You may think it should be easy to find them but that is not nessessarily so. I can spend a lot of time finding them and of course there is another load of washing.
Baby wipes are also needed constantly.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Weekend
I was able to have time with my grandsons this weekend while they were down from Auckland. I have to organise everything for George while I am out and also realise that when I get home there will be a mess for me to try to sort out as well as spend time with George.
I am very aware that I cannot get sick! I still need to be on deck to get the basics done such as meals, washing, floors and taking George to all the places he needs to go.
I am also aware that it is becoming more difficult for others to stay here as it can be rather confronting. I am aware that it has been this way for some people for some time although for others they are pretty understanding. I have promised my grandchildren that if they let me know in plenty of time I will put George into respite care so they can stay.
I am very aware that I cannot get sick! I still need to be on deck to get the basics done such as meals, washing, floors and taking George to all the places he needs to go.
I am also aware that it is becoming more difficult for others to stay here as it can be rather confronting. I am aware that it has been this way for some people for some time although for others they are pretty understanding. I have promised my grandchildren that if they let me know in plenty of time I will put George into respite care so they can stay.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Unbelievable
I picked George up last Sunday...
Since then he has managed to put toilet paper all over the place. He pulls stuff out of his wardrobe and drawers. He never puts anything back and it is often difficult to find things. It is amazing how much of a mess he is able to make. He does not mean to and he tries so hard. He often just wanders around taking stuff - everything is 'his'. I find stuff in the strangest places.
Toilet floor - back to constant cleaning in the toilet.
Washing - back to washing every day, sometimes more than once
We also have a new person on Wednesday and Thursday morning and it is going to take me some time to get him organised. At the moment he calls to me every 2 seconds to help him with something although I have all the clothes and everything ready. We will get there.
It was nice to be on my own for a while.
Since then he has managed to put toilet paper all over the place. He pulls stuff out of his wardrobe and drawers. He never puts anything back and it is often difficult to find things. It is amazing how much of a mess he is able to make. He does not mean to and he tries so hard. He often just wanders around taking stuff - everything is 'his'. I find stuff in the strangest places.
Toilet floor - back to constant cleaning in the toilet.
Washing - back to washing every day, sometimes more than once
We also have a new person on Wednesday and Thursday morning and it is going to take me some time to get him organised. At the moment he calls to me every 2 seconds to help him with something although I have all the clothes and everything ready. We will get there.
It was nice to be on my own for a while.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Home again
George came home yesterday. The washing is already underway. The toilet paper is now coming quickly off the roll and is found in strange places. I have his seat well set up so that, hopefully, it will remain protected. He is still regarded as rest home level and not yet what they call D3 which is the level where they go into a dementia unit.
I use this home as it is one of the few that will take bookings. I have developed a good relationship with the admin staff and they always fit him in, sometimes in a very plush apartment. This home has largely been rebuilt due to the earthquakes. The rooms are lovely and the staff very nice. There are activities for the residents but very little interaction between staff and residents. I spoke to a nurse about this yesterday and she that actually there is not the interaction as they don't have time. The dementia unit is on the 3rd floor. This is something I would not be happy about, it is so nice for people to be able to go outside,everyone loves to smell the flowers. There is a lot of research to support this view about those with dementia and gardens. When the new gardens are completed at Mum's home I am planning to wheel her out into the gardens and sit in the sunshine, a thing I always appreciate.
I use this home as it is one of the few that will take bookings. I have developed a good relationship with the admin staff and they always fit him in, sometimes in a very plush apartment. This home has largely been rebuilt due to the earthquakes. The rooms are lovely and the staff very nice. There are activities for the residents but very little interaction between staff and residents. I spoke to a nurse about this yesterday and she that actually there is not the interaction as they don't have time. The dementia unit is on the 3rd floor. This is something I would not be happy about, it is so nice for people to be able to go outside,everyone loves to smell the flowers. There is a lot of research to support this view about those with dementia and gardens. When the new gardens are completed at Mum's home I am planning to wheel her out into the gardens and sit in the sunshine, a thing I always appreciate.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Little things
It is the little things that count. This morning I left home to go and do some shopping at 8.30 a.m. As I got near the shop I thought, 'this is something I used to do but no longer can', the freedom made me feel great. Got a park right outside and was in the shop and back home in under an hour!! Wow, so great.
Last night I got a call from the home where George is and they said that they needed more clothes. This puzzled me and I asked what sort. They said he had nothing to wear to bed last night. I said that he wore onesies and that I had packed 2. They said that they were in the wash. I took more over. Guess what?? The other ones were in his drawer!!! I wasn't a happy camper.
This is something you need to be aware of: if anything goes wrong in a home where your loved one is if anything happens that they ring you straight away which you would expect but also be aware that while many times it is just to let you know about something other times you have to go to the home straight away. When you are the only family member around this means it is you.
Last night I got a call from the home where George is and they said that they needed more clothes. This puzzled me and I asked what sort. They said he had nothing to wear to bed last night. I said that he wore onesies and that I had packed 2. They said that they were in the wash. I took more over. Guess what?? The other ones were in his drawer!!! I wasn't a happy camper.
This is something you need to be aware of: if anything goes wrong in a home where your loved one is if anything happens that they ring you straight away which you would expect but also be aware that while many times it is just to let you know about something other times you have to go to the home straight away. When you are the only family member around this means it is you.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Time slip sliding away
I spent nearly four hours today getting the measurements to the place to get a quote for curtains and carpets. It was on the other side of town and then I had to go through each measurement with them. Very time consuming. On top of that they charge $75 for the curtain quote and $75 for the carpet quote. One more thing done however.
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