Decisions, decisions, decisions

I have been patiently waiting for alterations and repairs to be done to the property we live in. We have been waiting for over five years. During this time George's Alzheimers has progressed a lot as can be expected.

Last year I realised that it means that George and I, along with all property, have to leave the property for at least six months. George has to go into a rest home due to his condition and his incontinence. We will be paying big time for this.

I have been very worried about how this will affect George's condition. I arranged so that when it happens George's routine will continue as much as possible.  This has been done with the expectation that I would be bringing him home.

However I now think that this is unrealistic.

I have recently been told that his disease has progressed to a point where he will no longer be able to attend his club.

George is going in to respite care so I can do some packing, it is impossible with him around!


For the last two weeks his regular caregiver has been on leave so he has been having a lot of relievers. While some are good others are not. As a consequence it has been a difficult two weeks for me and George has been extremely confused. It is in the lap of the God's as to whether George will be able to come home after the six months. Increasingly it is looking less and less likely.

Guardian angels

My poor guardian angels are working so hard at the moment. I am very tired and desperately in need of respite care, this starts on 19 December until 4 January. I really need it. I am making stupid mistakes! For example during the weekend I took George to my parents grave with some lovely roses to put on the grave. On the way we stopped to get petrol. After taking a photo of the grave we did a tour around and George was very happy to go out.

At 6.15 that night the phone rang and someone asked for me. They then told me that they had found my credit cards! I couldn't believe it! After getting petrol I put my card holder in the door of the car so George wouldn't get into it ( he takes everything ). It must have fallen out when we were there. As the caregiver was due to arrive for George I decided to leave him a note and then I would get home about the time he left! All went well except that I took the note with me, luckily George remembered a garbled version of what was happening.

Strangely I took a photo which showed the roses and car keys - not mine. I said to George we would need to go over the next day to get them and find out who they belonged to. As soon as I had the cards I went back to the cemetery to look for the keys but nothing was there. They definitely were not mine as I did not take them out of the car and they do not have that sort of key ring. So strange.

I wonder if my guardian angels tried with this photo to get me to go back and when that didn't work used a lovely woman (took her some wine on Sunday). Anyway I think that they have been working over time.

Last week I had George back at the doctors with a infection on his penis. Also dealt with wet bed and poo on the toilet floor, luckily these things are not as regular as they were.

At night, when George goes to bed he has a movie on and a red wine, he enjoys this. He enjoys his old movies, these are mainly ones which have a lot of singing in them, a favourite is High Society.

Support

George went in to a home for me to have respite care. Unfortunately when I got home I was not well and it has taken me a fortnight or more to 'come right'. People often say to me that they hope that I have  a good support system. Unfortunately I do not have one at all. All the family live in other places and are very busy with enjoying their own lives. Most of the time this is just the way it is but there are times when it would be so nice to have one of them here to stay a night or two. Unfortunately the respite care allocation is not a lot.

As a child I worried about everyone else especially I worried in case people were lonely or didn't have anyone. As a toddler I went to the gate every day to talk to two elderly people who were out taking their morning walks. I would chat away to them every day and did not even know their names. They loved talking to me...

Poor Mum, everyone who moved into the neighbourhood I went and introduced myself and then invited them to our home for morning tea tomorrow. I then went home and told Mum when they were coming. She didn't have much chance but met our new neighbours this way and the new people knew someone else so I accomplished that.

I have always been able to put myself in other people's shoes but certainly notice that most just pay lip service to supporting others. They also need to stop and think before criticising and try to acknowledge what others do.

Assessing

Here, people from the hospital come to the home to assess the people with Alzheimer's. This is only done when the carer gets the doctor to put in a request. I was worried as George was still assessed at rest home level care for respite care and I know he needs more than this.

Basically here the levels are

• Rest home when skills are pretty good and they are able to do most things by themselves
• Rest home hospital level when there are physical needs
• Dementia unit which is secure and the dementia needs are prelevant
• Dementia hospital level when there are challenging needs which require a higher level of care

George has been assessed at dementia unit level. As he was booked in at hospital level for my upcoming respite break we have had to get a new facility for this time. I now need to go and visit this place before I take him there. It is amazing just how much time all these things take.

Another wet bed last night even though the two bags were taped together - oh joy.

Respite care

I took George in to respite care on Wednesday. The people at the home are monitoring him to see if he needs a higher level of care. We had a long discussion about his condition. They will let me know how things go.

Yesterday, Christmas Day, I went to Mum's home and then I went to George's home. He had wanted to stay in bed and they were just about to get him up and dressed for Christmas dinner. He opened his presents. I had got him a big hat box filled with memorabilities about Audrey Hepburn and a set of DVDs. I was so thrilled to find that in a shop as I had never seen anything like it before and she is one of his favourite people. We were lucky enough to meet her many years ago and I took photos of the two of them having a long chat. He got presents his son sent which included some photos which we put in his blue memory book. I left him relaxed and cheerful as the staff were taking him in to have a shower.

They are going to put on a DVD for him later.

How much longer

This morning I had a lot of trouble getting George out of bed. Yesterday George used a walker frame all day. This was his own choosing and just using a walking stick did not seem to be enough. He is now using a chair which belonged to his mother to sit in as it is easier to get in and out of.

The Christmas season is always when crisis situations arise. I am so thankful he is going into respite care for a week.

Today I went in and drained the night bag and took it out and cleaned it. I then went back and it took about 15 to 20 minutes to get George sitting up. He is now in the lounge with me and has had his pill, a coffee and some fresh fruit. He has now been using the walker to go up and down the length of the lounge. He is slowly moving more easily. I will need to try to keep him moving today.

Weekend

I was able to have time with my grandsons this weekend while they were down from Auckland. I have to organise everything for George while I am out and also realise that when I get home there will be a mess for me to try to sort out as well as spend time with George.

I am very aware that I cannot get sick! I still need to be on deck to get the basics done such as meals, washing, floors and taking George to all the places he needs to go.

I am also aware that it is becoming more difficult for others to stay here as it can be rather confronting. I am aware that it has been this way for some people for some time although for others they are pretty understanding. I have promised my grandchildren that if they let me know in plenty of time I will put George into respite care so they can stay.

Time slip sliding away

I spent nearly four hours today getting the measurements to the place to get a quote for curtains and carpets. It was on the other side of town and then I had to go through each measurement with them. Very time consuming. On top of that they charge $75 for the curtain quote and $75 for the carpet quote. One more thing done however.

Getting there

One foot in front of the other is good travelling so they say. Got some windows cleaned and also have been stripping and airing the beds and bedrooms as usually I change the beds but it is good to give everything a good airing which I am doing while I have the time. I know that it all probably doesn't seem a lot but it makes me feel better and therefore I feel better about things which is the main objective. I have had to learn to ignore what others think and concentrate on what I can achieve.

Airing and steam cleaning

I am stripping beds and airing them thoroughly before remaking. I am also steam cleaning all the furniture. Although it probably doesn't show to the naked eye I know how much cleaner they are.

George can no longer cope with trousers and a belt so I am taking those out of his wardrobe and I will get rid of them (keep a couple of pairs in case we need them and will keep the belts for him).

Lovely day so have done some washing and now will tackle lawns and gardens.

Haven't heard from the home so they must be coping.

Making the most of the time....

Nice

Got quite a bit done yesterday. Weather was foul - cold with rain and hail so it was a good day to do some spring cleaning. I still have plenty more to do but feel very happy with what I have achieved so far. Something I certainly notice with George is that he is like a little magpie and secrets all sorts of things. I have found some important papers that were needed for our last year's tax return. As the rest of the stuff is with the accountant I need to scan and send these to him, just as well I have found these  and hope that I don't find too many more!

How nice to rush to the toilet and not have to check that it is clean first!

How nice to wake up and find that the cleaning up I did yesterday is still tidy!

So little time

Getting into some cleaning today. Although I clean the toilet and bathroom floors constantly today I have been scrubbing! The weather is revolting with hail and high wind.

Tomorrow I have to go to Nurse Maud for George and also visit Mum as well as taking a little boy to improve his reading. Another day I need to go over to the other side of town to try to get a quote for our carpets and curtains. Measuring up for this is very time consuming. I realise that the time George is away will go very quickly and I will not get everything done but every little helps.

George liked the new building at the rest home so I hope he enjoys his time there.

Respite care 2

Getting George to respite care today which I am really looking forward to. I mentioned about washing - on the second load this morning and will have another one after I have taken him in. Unfortunately he has taken stuff I had packed out but luckily I found it or things would have been difficult as he would not have had the clothes he needed but I am just doing all that again!! Been a difficult morning as George woke up in a real mess and straight into the shower which took some time to get hot enough and it was difficult to keep him in one place while we were waiting.

On with getting ready....

Respite care

When someone goes into a home for respite care all their belongings have to be labelled. Very happy as I have found a place where they do iron on ones which are so easy. With Mum's stuff I had to sew each one on. Remember this is every sock, pair of undies etc - very time consuming.

I have George going in to respite care this weekend. I am so looking forward to:

• Not having to do constant washing
• Not having to amuse someone else
• Not having to take someone else here there and everywhere
• Not having to clean the toilet 2 or 3 times a day
• Having a good night's sleep
• Having a read
• Having a lie in bed
• Doing what I want, when I want

It actually takes ages to get someone ready for respite care and I have decided to have a case ready so I can just add his personal things quickly if I need to put him into respite care quickly; for example an emergency.

Respite care

It is a long time since George has been in a Home to give me some respite care. I have booked him in for a week later this month. It is often difficult to find a Home which provides respite care. What will I do? Initially I thought I would go away but on looking at the price of airfares and accommodation I decided not to.

What is the purpose of this time for me? To give me a rest which is what I really need. I can do that just as well at home as anywhere else so that is what I have decided to. I will read books, have spas and hopefully get some sun!

Incontinence clinic

We went to the incontinence clinic last week and George has been given pads for daytime and pants for night time.  I go and pick them up in town each month.

This weekend I spent a couple of days in Auckland with family which was a welcome break. George went into the home for a few days.

Sometimes I find it difficult to juggle all the things I need to do for mum and George for example the Home just rang me and Mum has to be at the hospital at 8 a.m. in the morning and they wondered if I wanted to take her in!! I have to get George to his club that morning at 10 so I am unable to be in two places at once. The home are going to send a staff member with her.

Carers

Well luckily the person who comes to help George with his showering and dressing was back this week so George has been much happier about that. Julie who takes him out for coffee has had a death in the family she she has been away this week.

I am away working next week so George is going to stay at Beckenham Courts from Monday until Friday.

Poor mum has been very confused lately which makes it difficult for her. She has still not accepted being in the home, I guess that they never do. It is awful really as you then have people telling you what to do all the time.

Not too sure how things are...

This morning I had a doctor's appointment so while George's helper was here to give him a shower and get him dressed I went down. When I got home George was back in bed. He had been dizzy in the shower and was very slow with understanding etc. I have been keeping an eye on him all day - he got up about lunch time but keeps going to sleep and has been very white. Later in the day someone came round to see him and took him out for a while which was nice.

I have organised for George to go into a home for a few days respite care. While he is there I am going to the Coast to do some visiting in schools which will be lovely.

Communication

George has been asked to work with a student from the University of Canterbury. The students are in the middle of their Bachelor's degrees and as part of their course they have to work with a person with Alzheimer's. George still has great powers of discussion 'the gift of the gab' and loves nothing better than to 'chew the fat'. I will be very interested in how this goes.

I went to an Alzheimer's meeting today to give a talk about using respite care. I tended to focus on all the things I did not know when I went to use it hoping that it might help others when they go to use it.

This is an interesting presentation about Alzheimer's.

About Alzheimer and Dementia from marina761

Home again

Collected George from the rest home on Saturday. He was pleased to be coming home but had had some good experiences while there. He went on a trip out to Lincoln one day where they saw new homes going up. He sat at a table for meals with a group of guys about his age so he obviously made some friends there.

While I can't say he would have liked to stay longer he at least coped well which is good as I will need to get a rest in order to be able to keep him at home and as we have no family here to come and stay with him when I go away or need a rest getting a few days respite care in a home is great.

For this first time I was very careful in choosing the home, it is a rest home and does not have a dementia unit and at this point is all George needs. I wanted him to have a good experience so that he would feel OK about doing it again.