Money flies!

Once you have a parent or spouse go into care you will notice that money flies out of the window and honestly it flies out quickly.

Our economists have worked out how much people need to save in order to be able to have a good standard of living once they are retired.  Unfortunately this makes no difference for the carer. In New Zealand our Government helps with the fees when assets reach less than one fifth of what the economists recommend you need for retirement. Unfortunately this means that carers will not have the retirement life style we all dream of, for example travel. We will always be in the position of needing to watch every penny. Unfortunately more and more of us will be in this position. I must have been very bad in a past life to have been responsible for two, very costly.

Luckily George has dodged the illness in his home - fingers crossed! He is eating well but still very frail. When he first went in he often went out for a walk, not now! Carers in the home take the residents out for a walk when they want to go. They also have a nice garden area to go outside to wander around or sit in the sunshine. We have been having a very mild winter with lovely warm days.  George certainly feels the cold and wears a lot of clothes. This seems to be the same for a lot of the others too.

Mobility

George's mobility is certainly not as good as it was when he went into the home. Even with the walker he will only go short distances. At the moment he prefers to sit and chat. He loves chocolate milkshakes so I have been taking them into him. It is important that he drinks a lot as he seems to be getting urinary infections. These make people more confused. Mum was the same.

I have found that I am as busy as ever. Going to see George each day takes a considerable chunk out of the day. I am also looking at stuff for the flat such as colour schemes. I am bring home plenty of fliers to try to sort out a few things. I have ordered some things such as a bath and shower. Many people here don't have a bath but there are times when I enjoy one.

I got George some handles to use in the shower. These are held on by suction and are really fantastic. Another carer told me about them and I was skeptical but put two up in the shower and then held on with all my weight and they supported me, no trouble. They are really great. In fact the builder I have was suitably impressed and also wants some!

Missing

George got up in the middle of the night. I suggested that it was night time and to go back to bed. He was reluctant so I said I was and to go back to bed when he was ready. Usually this works. He hates being cold and likes to stay warm in bed. George never goes off our property on his own. Occasionally he will wander down to the old house or down to the letterbox but it is very rare and I always know as usually I have suggested it. He NEVER wanders off on his own, famous last words! 😢

Last night at some stage however he decided to go to see someone he worked with! He set off with only his onesie on and no walking stick.
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I woke up early, pitch black! It was before 5 a.m. No George. I searched all over the property inside and out. No George. I searched all over our old property, no George. I knew he wouldn't have gone to the beach as the track is too difficult for him now.

I walked to the two streets in each direction straight outside our place. No George!

I rang the police. This is where it is really hard being so totally on my own.

The police researched all the areas I had been. No George.

My front neighbours were up by then getting ready for work. They also helped in the search.

Finally he was found some considerable distance away down the road. They brought him home. I gave him some breakfast and chatted to him.

He said he was off to see someone he worked with and had some pages from a photograph album with him. At one point he knocked on somebody's window, luckily not waking them. He knew he was lost. Someone tied his shoe laces for him! Unfortunately he couldn't tell them where he lived. He did not have his identity bracelet on which has his name and phone number.

Thank God he didn't fall. Some very scary hours!

Frail

George is becoming more and more frail. His legs are very thin and do not look strong enough to hold him up.

On Friday we visited a friend and then went into town to the library in there.

On the way out of the library we went to the car and I turned around. George's legs buckled beneath him and he went down. Luckily it wasn't a fall but just went down. He was not hurt although he got a shock, as I did. A lovely man rushed over and the two of us got him up and into the car. On returning home George had a long sleep and felt much better when he woke up.

When he is going a distance he uses a walker but for shorter distance he uses a walking stick. The walker will need to be used more and more.

Walkabout

Luckily George does not wander off. This is one of the things that causes many people to need to have their relative in a safe secure environment.

He does like to think he goes out walking. Yesterday he got all ready and went out for a walk. He then hooked his walking stick over a rail and came back in. He continued to do this until he then had 6 walking sticks outside. He then went down to the gate and back.

When he returned he told me he had been

942 steps

Today I asked if he was going for a walk. He told me he wasn't as he had been on this big long one. I was surprised he remembered but...

Restless

This morning George is restless. He gets like this when he needs to wait for someone. I have been stretching out his breakfast, cereal and coffee, followed by fruit, and finally toast. He then had a shave - he can't do this properly but if he makes and attempt it is easier for a caregiver to tidy it up. Unfortunately he wakes early and so it is often a long wait for others, in this case a caregiver to shower and dress him. At the moment he is walking up and down and round and round and round!! Others have no idea of how difficult this can be in a restricted space.

I have just found, in our old house, some letters written by his parents before they were married. An interesting read and a lovely slow pace of life then (90 years ago). I doubt that they are of interest to others but I remember George being thrilled when he found them after his mother's death. Actually he read the letter from his father at his mother's funeral which was lovely although my mother told him he couldn't read the final phrase which said 'Yours to a cinder'. I remember one of my mother's cousins throwing away many old photos and letters as she knew that no one else would want them. With our limited space this is something I have to do too. George was a great hoarder so there is a lot to go out.

Yesterday a present arrived for George from his son. He was so excited. It was a CD which I will put on his MP4 player for him so he can listen to it. Music is great for those with Alzheimer's and there is some interesting research in this area.

How much longer

This morning I had a lot of trouble getting George out of bed. Yesterday George used a walker frame all day. This was his own choosing and just using a walking stick did not seem to be enough. He is now using a chair which belonged to his mother to sit in as it is easier to get in and out of.

The Christmas season is always when crisis situations arise. I am so thankful he is going into respite care for a week.

Today I went in and drained the night bag and took it out and cleaned it. I then went back and it took about 15 to 20 minutes to get George sitting up. He is now in the lounge with me and has had his pill, a coffee and some fresh fruit. He has now been using the walker to go up and down the length of the lounge. He is slowly moving more easily. I will need to try to keep him moving today.