Support groups

George enjoys seeing me each day. He is still aware of who people are and seems quite settled.

When the carers ask who wants to go through to another area for an activity I have noticed that George just sits there. I suspect he doesn't know what is going on. I encouraged him to go one day this week when I was there. It was some entertainers who come in each week, they sing and the whole thing is very interactive to include the audience. George loved it. I have told the care givers to tell him to come so he doesn't sit back. He loves these things but needs the encouragement and support to go.

This week I have set up two support groups for people. The first one is for people who have someone in care. There are six of us at this stage and we meet in a mall. Our buses go between all the malls in the city and are free for those over 65.

I made sure I was there a few minutes early to greet the others. The first to arrive was a woman who recently put her husband into care and is suffering from feelings of guilt and is rather depressed. Her face lit up when she saw me waiting. When we left she told us all how much better she felt after the time we spent together and really she had a spring in her step as she left, so worthwhile. Everyone felt that they wanted to keep the group going so we have arranged monthly meetings.

The other group I set up is for parents of some of my old pupils. I found out by accident that one of my old parents is suffering from depression and not going out. She would also lock her doors and not answer. She really wanted to be able to out. I organised for another one of my old parents to pick her up and the three of us met for coffee and a chat. She loved it and felt very comfortable. We have organised to meet weekly. Many people here are still traumatised and suffering from depression after the earthquakes. I realise that people who have not been through some of these things would think 'get over it'. It is not that easy.

So good we can share information, have a laugh in a relaxed informal manner and build up a rapport to support each other.

Social isolation

In today's paper an article about elderly people being socially isolated.

This is so sad and I am sure is because of families leaving their home towns and making lives in other places.

This did not happen in earlier times (and still does not in some families) and the families would gather round and share looking after their elderly family members.

Today many families do not worry too much about the elderly members of their families. Often the elderly are put into rest homes where they spend all day in their room. Once in a rest home many family members feel that they are OK there and don't make the effort to go and visit very often.

Going in to visit and take the time to talk and have a special time with your family member/friend is so important to them, don't just think that they are OK.

Often when a family is living in all different places, or for other reasons,  there is one member of the family who does most of the caring for the person. If you are a member of a family where this is occurring and you are not the primary caregiver don't forget to acknowledge this and don't forget that it is often costing a lot of money to give your loved one the quality of life you would want for them. Do you envisage reimbursing some of this to the caregiver or do you just expect that that is what they should do? Just remember too that this caregiver can also become quite isolated due to their commitment - acknowledge and thank them appropriately - don't be half hearted about it, remember how much they are taking off your shoulders. Criticizing whatever they are doing does not help them. Just a few thoughts.

Juggling act

There are times when this place feels like Grand Central Railway Station. This week access is blocked to our homes while they concrete the guttering. It is a real pain as we need to park around the corner. I did this on Sunday but by the next day had lost my car keys, luckily I have the spare.

I am dealing (still) with the insurance company relating to the earthquakes (4 and a half years ago). This is so we can get on and do the repairs needed as well as some slight alterations. This will put in an en-suite bathroom for George. I will really be happy when that happens.

One day this week I had round: two caregivers, one health nurse, one builder and one electrician. Timing these things can be a nightmare. I have something similar today.

This week George has seemed to be more confused and it has taken the caregivers quite a lot of time to shower him. If you ask him about a part of his body he is likely to point to a very different part. I am well aware that when the repairs etc are being done George will need to go into a rest home and there is every likelihood that he may become institutionalized. All I can do is play it by air.