Stagnating

I know that people with dementia need to keep having their brains stimulated. It is well known that when people are put into care that they go 'downhill'.  I have seen this happen.

A man, Roy, was diagnosed with early onset dementia. He lived at home with his family. He went to the same club with George. He was always talkative, enjoyed a good sense of humour and was enjoying life. He went into the same home as George at the same time however he was still classified as rest home level and not dementia. I saw him most days when I went in to see George. He knew who I was and always greeted me. He always had a twinkle in his eye. Now 5 months later, the light has gone out of his eyes, he is now in a dementia unit with George, knows no one and sits in chair and sleeps the day away. It is so sad. I have never seen anyone come in to visit or take him out.

George has remained at the same stage. Obviously carers cannot ensure that all the residents are engaging in activities to provide stimulation. By going in each day I ensure George engages in everything even when he doesn't want to, for example exercises. I do it with him and then he really enjoys it. I also talk to him so much about his life, his family and his friends. We also talk about what is happening in the world. George getting the one on one helps him, I did the same with Mum.  I always have chocolate or marshmallows which everyone shares. They all think I am there for them too.

I look at how well Kate Swaffer is living her life. Five months ago I would have said Roy was in a similar situation. Are we letting these people down? Do we need to concentrate on helping people live well and helping those around them to support them? 

As I have always said "quality of life"

A gentle day

We are having the most wonderful weather, very mild even though we have just passed the shortest day of the year. The ski fields haven't been able to open, lack of snow. I am not moaning.

I have been enjoying sunrises and sunsets up at the old house. I have missed these so much. I enjoy watching them and thinking of my loved ones.

George's name tags arrived on Monday (I couldn't find the other ones - packed away) so I have been getting stuff named for George. As with Mum I take in body wash for him. People in homes seem to go through it very quickly. I seem to need to get a new bottle every week and I get very large bottles.

Same as with Mum I am taking over bottles of drink so he gets plenty of fluid. Mum loved raspberry, lemonade, ginger ale, lemon and padrona, and tonic. George has the same tastes. George and Mum got on really well so it was nice for both of them. It is so nice for in laws to be as close as George was with my parents.

George was pretty lucid today which was great. We had a great talk about some of his friends and the things they did. He is currently on a course of antibiotics as he had a urinary infection, this causes people with Alzheimer's to become very confused.

I am gradually getting some things sorted and made a trip to the dump today, every little helps.

It all happens at once

the last few weeks have been so busy, now I have time to catch up on a few things.

George stayed in the rest home after his respite care. He is well looked after there and is happy. When this happened his son, from Sydney, came over and the three of us spent three great days going out together. George just loved it and continued to talk about his visit for some time after the visit. He was a great help to me to sorting out some of George's papers for me. It is a visit George's son will also treasure.

I have been visiting most days. Sometimes it is only a short visit other days we go out for coffee and he enjoys a toasted sandwich. Some days he is very confused and has no idea who anyone is or what is going on, other days we look at his books and he talks a lot about things he did. He is getting very fragile and I am not sure how much longer I can take him out. We would be in a lot of trouble if he falls.

The flat is packed into boxes and is stored in our old house and garages. I have set up a bed sitting room in our old house. It is nice and warm which is important. Also I can check on the builders.

I allowed someone to live in the old house rent free for a year and I must say he was very reluctant to leave. Prior to that I allowed another couple to occupy it rent free for two years. Of course I had to pay rent and the property owners costs for the flat. That helped to pay Mum's fees in the home. I am now having to pay for George. Since the earthquakes I have been caught between rocks and hard places. Of course all of this has seriously eaten into my investments.

You are still IT

Even when your loved one is in a home you are still IT.

Today the nurse at the home rang the doctor's surgery who then rang me. Upshot is I have to take him to the doctor's tomorrow. Of course that will write off the afternoon. George is still going to our doctor.

In the home Mum was going to the doctor associated with the home. Quite a few times I was asked to go in to see the doctor with Mum. You always need to be available for their needs it is not a case of putting them into care and then just going in once a week or once a fortnight. You frequently get calls regarding all sorts of things relating to them and that was even with me in and out of Mum's home like a jack in the box.