Confusion

I find that when George has been doing things out of routine especially when it is social things, he gets very confused the next day. Mum was the same. It does make things more difficult for me and other caregivers. George becomes very restless and has conversation becomes very disjointed and I have to continuously tell him that I am not sure what he is talking about.

This morning I have found I need to be in the same room or he comes to me ready to go out. This morning I have given him his cup to clean - that is keeping him busy for a while.

I never tell him we are seeing someone or are going somewhere at a future time otherwise I may find him sitting in the car ready to go out.

Not an easy day

Something I find interesting is that each of the people with Alzheimer's display a different sign which shows that they will be more confused than usual. With George it is his bottom lip goes slack. Other people who are not as intimately involved probably will not even notice these signs.

Yesterday it was a bottom lip day. After rushing round taking George to 3 different places associated with helping him I had not had much time at home the day before to do the things that needed to be done here. Unfortunately most of it did not happen yesterday either. When George is like this it is easier to do little bits and then attend to his needs. His language was really bad and he had a lot of difficulty getting his needs articulated. One of the things he wanted was for me to take him to the bank to get money. Mum was always obsessed with money too. I can assure you a lot of money goes missing when they have it....

George is like a prisoner and gets 'stir crazy' if he doesn't go out each day. As I needed a couple of things from the dairy we went out. He wanted to go to Brighton so I took him there. There are not a lot of shops for him there but I took him to a 'That's incredible' shop where he decided he wanted a dress up policeman's hat. He loves it so he added that to his collection of hats...

Divorce

 Not sure how things work in Aussi re being funded while living in a Home. Here it is very strict and the rules are clear so that the person has to have little money left before the Government steps in. This can make it difficult for partners still living at home. Here also the Government can go back through your affairs for 7 years to see where your money has gone and they go through it with a fine tooth comb.

I have heard of two people in Aussi who have divorced their spouse with Alzheimer's which somehow helps with the cost of their care in a home. It certainly doesn't work here.

George is excited as his grandson is coming to visit for a few days. I hope that he doesn't find it too difficult. He loves any contact with his family.

George is often very slow with his speech and takes a very long time searching for the word he wants. He always seems better on Thursday afternoon as that is the day some other elderly men go to his club and he loves to chat with them.

Phone call

George was talking on the phone today to an old friend who has Parkinson's. Neither of them made much sense. His friend asked to speak to me and said 'George can't speak properly'

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

It is interesting as George does not really realise that he is any different and thinks that he can manage things well. Like Mum he was not diagnosed in the early stages so never really understood about any of it. His friend by way of contrast was diagnosed early on with Parkinson's and is well aware that it will get worse and is obviously quite depressed. Another part of this will be the friend's wife just treats him as she always has and does not admit that anything is wrong with him which makes it more difficult for him. George on the other hand is included and feels quite normal.

Visitor

George has just had an old friend from his school days staying which he really enjoyed. He loves having people to talk to.

In conversations now he can be really slow to say what he wants to. You have to WAIT while he gets it out. Often he is searching for words and you have no idea what he is talking about - very reminiscent of how Mum was.

I have been worried about what we will do for his 80th birthday. That day the Alzheimer's group are going to the movies at the theatre in Sumner so I am taking him there which I hope that he will enjoy.

Frustrating

It can get rather frustrating dealing with someone with Alzheimer's. They do what they want, when they want and how they want. We were going out to see friends this morning. George's caregiver had him ready (apart from hair and shoes) before 10. It then took him nearly and hour to get ready so by the time we got there it was nearly lunch time. It is really frustrating when you want to get on with more housework or gardening or whatever. He will not be hurried. He wanted to go but only gets himself ready in his own time. They do not see things from other's points of view nor do they understand what others have to do for them as they just sit and accept that they will be looked after.

George is very slow to figure out what he wants to say and so you need to listen very carefully and fill in the words that he can't find. Mum was the same and they get uptight when you don't get the word for them.

I have heard people say that it is like looking after a small child again but this is totally incorrect and shows someone who has not dealt with these people on an intimate basis for any length of time. You cannot train someone with Alzheimer's to do things i.e. put things away after themselves as they have no idea how to do it. With a child they are learning, with these adults they are losing their memories slowly but surely and along with this comes the knowledge of how to do simple everyday tasks.

Happy New Year to everyone.

Busy

Things have been rather busy lately. I went to Auckland for a weekend to see family so George went to Beckenham Courts. They are being remodelled and so they put him in a serviced apartment which was lovely and he really liked that.

He has just started going to Harakeke club twice a week. He really enjoys the club but has only been once on the second day when there are other people. He wasn't so sure that he liked that day. He went today and had a really good day. Tonight he described what he had for lunch - which he said was nice. "Peas and orange things"
"Carrots"
"Yes, and a thing like this" He made a circle with his hands. It was some sort of meat but not sure what. I do a heck of a lot of guessing as he knows what he wants to say but can't find the words.

His eldest son, who he hasn't heard from for ages, rang on Sunday night and he talked about the phone call most of the day on Monday. I think with busy lives people forget how much those little things mean, like staying in touch.

Going to the Home

George wanted to come and see Mum in the Home at the weekend. When we arrived mum was thrilled to see him and her face lit up. Mum has lost a lot of language and so when she says something George then starts to quiz her about what she means. Mum is not able to articulate and gets upset and this can be when she calls people 'half wits' or 'smart arses'. It means that I have to be there and ready to break into the conversation quickly to stop this happening. George will also bring up topics which I have said not to discuss while we are there; does he remember this - no. Does he start to say something about it - yes. Again I have to be on my toes.  Boy it is hard work with the two of them.

When we went to leave I go fairly quickly after saying goodbye otherwise mum gets all upset. I had left the lounge room and left mum eating her lunch. Does George come too? As soon as I am outside the room I stop and look for George!! Here he is still in the main room, standing up and holding court telling them all about Prince Charles and Camillla's visit to NZ. No one knew what he was on about so he here was going on. It took me 10 mins to get him out, resettle mum and go!!

Walking

George had a visit today from the exercise lady who is working with him. He did the exercises with her and then she asked about how often he had been for a walk along the beach. He admitted that he hadn't so she suggested that he needed to. This afternoon he did indeed go for a walk on the inland route in the sand hills so that was great. Admittedly he is now having a snooze but that is OK too. He has been enjoying all the programmes that have been on about the World Wars - ANZAC day tomorrow.

Saw mum in the home today. She just loves to talk one on one to someone. She was quite lethargic but happy enough otherwise. We talked for a couple of hours. She just loves the attention and hates not having it. She is losing language and uses 'yoghurt' for anything and also people are often 'Lucy' although she has started saying 'that lady' and then I have to guess - I am getting extremely good at guessing but it does help that I know who has been in and out and also I know (having lived it) what she is talking about in her earlier life.  Today she looked at a photo of my younger sister and said 'that looks like Jennifer' - her own name and then started stroking the picture.

Confusing objects

Got quite a shock tonight when George was looking at a book. He suddenly turned around and said 'is this a record?' I guess that is part of things but in most of those things George has been OK so it was a shock to hear that.

He had a big yarn with his son last night and told me all about last night and again this morning.

I find that he makes a lot of a mess and it takes a lot of my time going round cleaning up after him. He also tends to pull everything out of his drawers and leave it in piles on the bed or floor.