visiting

Went in to mum this morning. I sat and had a coffee with her while she finished some food and drink. We chatted about all the visitors she had last week: in addition to all her usual daily visitors she had a cousin, an old friend from Rotorua and another friend from Christchurch come to see her. This meant she was often having two visitors a day. It is very interesting that no matter how often I go in she tells everyone that she doesn't see me and that I haven't been to see her for 'months and months'.

We then got ready and I took her out. I took her round to see Alison, a friend for morning tea. We took a book which shows pictures of mum throughout her life to show Alison. She enjoyed doing that. We were there for a couple of hours and she also had a couple of little sleeps during this time. She constantly keeps coming up with comments such as 'I want to be part of the family'. I would tell her how she was part of the family and how everyone comes to see her and how we are all doing our best for her - 'yes but... '. I have to work very hard to distract her but she frequently comes back with this sort of comment. She is also constantly saying how she does not like where she lives and wants to live in a home on her own. It is very hard and no matter what I feel very guilty because there is no way I am able to cope with having her at home.

There are times when I do find it difficult to go to see her as I know that I am going to get these comments and it is very wearying.