Something I have been lucky to have all my life is a good memory (not photographic - as a child I remember thinking this would be advantageous for exams). Quite a few friends I went to school with will email or phone me with queries and they always say how I had a good memory and they know that I will remember. I have always found it strange that people don't remember when they start talking about it.
I am not sure why this is. I know that some people have very selective memories and only remember what they want to remember or what is most advantageous to them. Just like two people can be involved in the same event but have a very different perspective on it.
Others 'do not clutter their minds with trivia'...
George had a good memory for sports facts and about games he had watched as well as a good general knowledge. I wander if this is helping him now?
I wander if this will help to stave off Alzheimer's? I haven't found anything to support this but it would be interesting.
Mind you having said all that I do find that I am rushing around everywhere trying to get things done and organised and tend then to dump things of my own down and then can't remember where I have put them!!!
I organise something and then am out in the garden or mowing lawns or tidying another part of the house and the next thing George has stuff everywhere again so it starts again. This is called 'multitasking' on my part - trying to please so many people and feeling like I am pleasing none.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Loss
I lost my cat this week which was very distressing. I was not going to get another one but realised that I need one - someone I can talk to and love which does help with the isolation I can feel at times. I was lucky to get one who had been with a elderly woman who had since died so this cat no longer had a home. Obviously she needed a home without other animals or children. She is settling in well.
George is pretty much the same. He loves to socialise so really doesn't like just staying home which frankly I need to do a bit more to get the house and gardens done (as well as trying to deal with people re the property issues) - while I do this he will slump on the couch and go to sleep.
Something I have found with those with Alzheimer's (both Mum and George anyway) is that when they want something they want it now... I have therefore found that no matter what I am doing I need to stop it and attend to those needs first.
George has been losing language and when he is describing something he uses his hands:
e.g. he was describing something to eat
long and green thing (showed a length with his hands)
Me: Bean
no
Peas
no
Asparagus
Yes that is it
I find more and more I need to guess which is something I have had to do with mum for ages now. It can get very frustrating for them and in particular mum would get upset if I didn't know what she wanted to say.
Another thing is follow you around, talking (and wanting a response), while you are trying to get work done. This happens frequently - George loves socialising...
George is pretty much the same. He loves to socialise so really doesn't like just staying home which frankly I need to do a bit more to get the house and gardens done (as well as trying to deal with people re the property issues) - while I do this he will slump on the couch and go to sleep.
Something I have found with those with Alzheimer's (both Mum and George anyway) is that when they want something they want it now... I have therefore found that no matter what I am doing I need to stop it and attend to those needs first.
George has been losing language and when he is describing something he uses his hands:
e.g. he was describing something to eat
long and green thing (showed a length with his hands)
Me: Bean
no
Peas
no
Asparagus
Yes that is it
I find more and more I need to guess which is something I have had to do with mum for ages now. It can get very frustrating for them and in particular mum would get upset if I didn't know what she wanted to say.
Another thing is follow you around, talking (and wanting a response), while you are trying to get work done. This happens frequently - George loves socialising...
Friday, October 11, 2013
The future
One of the friends George has made at various Alzheimer's groups is Tom. Tom and his wife Jane came to New Zealand to be with their son and grandchildren. Until recently Tom was able to drive and the two of them coped very well at home.
Unfortunately they were out walking and Jane fell over. She knocked her head and died... (I guess another earthquake tragedy as this was due to the rotten state of the footpaths). She was buried this week. Poor Tom is feeling very lost. The son, who lives in Rangiora with his family, does not want Tom to be living there. His daughter flew from the UK for the funeral and doesn't want to take Tom back with her. He is not able to be safe on his own especially at the moment. He is being put into a Home tomorrow. It is so sad as he is losing so much at one time and being put with people he doesn't know.
It is so interesting how many people do not have family support to enable them to live in the community for longer. This is what would happen to George if something happens to me and it is what will happen to me.
One thing I fully realise and am grateful for is that mum did not have to go into a home earlier as she was living next door to me.
All we can do is take one step at a time.
Unfortunately they were out walking and Jane fell over. She knocked her head and died... (I guess another earthquake tragedy as this was due to the rotten state of the footpaths). She was buried this week. Poor Tom is feeling very lost. The son, who lives in Rangiora with his family, does not want Tom to be living there. His daughter flew from the UK for the funeral and doesn't want to take Tom back with her. He is not able to be safe on his own especially at the moment. He is being put into a Home tomorrow. It is so sad as he is losing so much at one time and being put with people he doesn't know.
It is so interesting how many people do not have family support to enable them to live in the community for longer. This is what would happen to George if something happens to me and it is what will happen to me.
One thing I fully realise and am grateful for is that mum did not have to go into a home earlier as she was living next door to me.
All we can do is take one step at a time.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Doing something for yourself
It is important to have 'me' time as a caregiver. Unfortunately I am in the situation where I have the two people with Alzheimer's (one in a home) and no other family here. Many of my friends have left Christchurch or are still working. I do have coffee with friends when they are available.
I am going to volunteer to teach reading to prisoners to enable them to read to their children. I feel passionate about this as research shows that children who read with their fathers significantly helps with their reading. It also means that I can feel as though I am doing something useful.
I am going to volunteer to teach reading to prisoners to enable them to read to their children. I feel passionate about this as research shows that children who read with their fathers significantly helps with their reading. It also means that I can feel as though I am doing something useful.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Don't turn your back
I have to watch everything very carefully. George eats everything he can find. Today I was defrosting some shrimps for tea (luckily cooked). I was out in the garden, came in to find him eating his way through them!! This happens all the time. I find that I have to hide things more and more (he goes through all sorts of places however).
He loves his Harakeke club and looks forward to going each week which is great. By the time I take him there and pick him up it does not give me a lot of time for myself but every little is appreciated. I also go to visit mum while he is there.
He still drinks quite a bit and because he was told about 'red wine' he doesn't understand that that actually means all alcohol. He therefore thinks it is OK to drink any other alcohol. He generally drinks about a bottle of white wine a day or 2 or three premixed gin and tonics.
He loves his Harakeke club and looks forward to going each week which is great. By the time I take him there and pick him up it does not give me a lot of time for myself but every little is appreciated. I also go to visit mum while he is there.
He still drinks quite a bit and because he was told about 'red wine' he doesn't understand that that actually means all alcohol. He therefore thinks it is OK to drink any other alcohol. He generally drinks about a bottle of white wine a day or 2 or three premixed gin and tonics.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Post script to Father's Day
That night George's youngest son rang from Auckland. George was really thrilled to have heard from two of them. George's youngest son is heading over to Sydney again to visit his brothers who live there. So sad to think that George is not going to be able to be with them all at the one time.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Father's Day
George was thrilled today to get a phone call from his eldest son for Father's Day. I have left Skype on in case one of them wants to Skype him. He really loves to hear from his sons and eagerly waits for any phone calls or Skypes from them. They may not realise it but it is so important to him.
On Friday I took him to see our friend who is recovering after major surgery. When we left the friend said he really looks forward to Friday when we go and visit so that is lovely and it also makes George feel as though he is able to do something.
On Friday he told me that he needed a hair cut so I told him that I would take him to Brighton on Saturday morning on my way to see mum. He was up and ready at 5.30 a.m.! It was actually quite difficult to keep him occupied until shops etc would be open - he kept making his way out to go and catch a bus! I had to keep explaining that the shops would not be open yet. I had to get him to take his pyjama top off and put on a shirt.
When I am working on housework or gardening George spends a lot of time sleeping. This is something mum does too. Both of them have developed really sweet tooths - something that neither of them had before. Mum now eats porridge - she would not have a bar of any milk products before...
On Friday I took him to see our friend who is recovering after major surgery. When we left the friend said he really looks forward to Friday when we go and visit so that is lovely and it also makes George feel as though he is able to do something.
On Friday he told me that he needed a hair cut so I told him that I would take him to Brighton on Saturday morning on my way to see mum. He was up and ready at 5.30 a.m.! It was actually quite difficult to keep him occupied until shops etc would be open - he kept making his way out to go and catch a bus! I had to keep explaining that the shops would not be open yet. I had to get him to take his pyjama top off and put on a shirt.
When I am working on housework or gardening George spends a lot of time sleeping. This is something mum does too. Both of them have developed really sweet tooths - something that neither of them had before. Mum now eats porridge - she would not have a bar of any milk products before...
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Stay one step ahead
I try but it is not always possible. If you are not supervising all the time all sorts of strange things happen.
George cannot open a milk bottle so I try to remember to do this before I put it in the fridge.
George's attempt to open the milk bottle.
He cannot open a can of drink using the tab. If I am not around I find all sorts of things on the bench afterwards where he has tried to spear it open (sometimes succeeding).
When I put new toilet rolls into the toilet area I need to start the roll before I put them into the container otherwise half the roll goes in his attempts to use it.
Last night he watched the rugby. This morning I found two new packets of cornflakes on the sofa (open). He thought that they were chips.
Today he has been rummaging through his wardrobe trying on trousers. He told me he had only one pair that fitted as he was too fat. He only 'had a pair of undies on under these ones'. I asked what else he needed on under them and he seemed to think he needed another pair of trousers.
George cannot open a milk bottle so I try to remember to do this before I put it in the fridge.
He cannot open a can of drink using the tab. If I am not around I find all sorts of things on the bench afterwards where he has tried to spear it open (sometimes succeeding).
When I put new toilet rolls into the toilet area I need to start the roll before I put them into the container otherwise half the roll goes in his attempts to use it.
Last night he watched the rugby. This morning I found two new packets of cornflakes on the sofa (open). He thought that they were chips.
Today he has been rummaging through his wardrobe trying on trousers. He told me he had only one pair that fitted as he was too fat. He only 'had a pair of undies on under these ones'. I asked what else he needed on under them and he seemed to think he needed another pair of trousers.
Friday, August 16, 2013
The future
Mum is now sleeping most of the time and is no longer mobile. She has little language left but still has lucid moments. It is really distressing watching someone deteriorate little by little. When I come home I am aware that this may be George's future.
Today when I came home he was sitting watching TV with his hat and gloves on - both of which he wears all the time (sometimes to bed). He had also pulled out DVDs and had them in little piles all over the lounge floor.
One morning recently I noticed a glass of coke on the bench. Something made me suspicious - rum and coke which he was drinking about 8 in the morning. He had some cans out in the garage....
Another woman from the Alzheimer's group was telling me her husband who is still pretty alert is spending money online like it is going out of style. He has obviously been the contoller in the relationship and he won't listen to her. He is spending 5000 each month!!
Today when I came home he was sitting watching TV with his hat and gloves on - both of which he wears all the time (sometimes to bed). He had also pulled out DVDs and had them in little piles all over the lounge floor.
One morning recently I noticed a glass of coke on the bench. Something made me suspicious - rum and coke which he was drinking about 8 in the morning. He had some cans out in the garage....
Another woman from the Alzheimer's group was telling me her husband who is still pretty alert is spending money online like it is going out of style. He has obviously been the contoller in the relationship and he won't listen to her. He is spending 5000 each month!!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Busy
Things have been rather busy lately. I went to Auckland for a weekend to see family so George went to Beckenham Courts. They are being remodelled and so they put him in a serviced apartment which was lovely and he really liked that.
He has just started going to Harakeke club twice a week. He really enjoys the club but has only been once on the second day when there are other people. He wasn't so sure that he liked that day. He went today and had a really good day. Tonight he described what he had for lunch - which he said was nice. "Peas and orange things"
"Carrots"
"Yes, and a thing like this" He made a circle with his hands. It was some sort of meat but not sure what. I do a heck of a lot of guessing as he knows what he wants to say but can't find the words.
His eldest son, who he hasn't heard from for ages, rang on Sunday night and he talked about the phone call most of the day on Monday. I think with busy lives people forget how much those little things mean, like staying in touch.
He has just started going to Harakeke club twice a week. He really enjoys the club but has only been once on the second day when there are other people. He wasn't so sure that he liked that day. He went today and had a really good day. Tonight he described what he had for lunch - which he said was nice. "Peas and orange things"
"Carrots"
"Yes, and a thing like this" He made a circle with his hands. It was some sort of meat but not sure what. I do a heck of a lot of guessing as he knows what he wants to say but can't find the words.
His eldest son, who he hasn't heard from for ages, rang on Sunday night and he talked about the phone call most of the day on Monday. I think with busy lives people forget how much those little things mean, like staying in touch.
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