Well, although we were awake today, we had a very different reality.
It had taken four caregivers to help get him up this morning. A major problem is he becomes a deadweight and is also unable to help.
Since he was in isolation with the shingles he prefers to stay in his room all day. I am not sure that leaving them in their room all day like that is helpful. I understand the reasons but it was for 2 to 3 weeks. George got quite used to it and is content, at present, to stay there on his own and have people coming in and out.
It is hard to get him walking let alone to the lounge. I have explained to him that if anyone comes to visit him that we will not be able to take him out as we have done in the past. He has promised to practise but no luck today as he was sure he had a sore back. Let's hope for some improvement.
When I talked about going to the lounge he told me 4 people jumped on him and started to hit him. Later I asked him who I was. He told me I was a conspirator... I told him I have never jumped on him and hit me and he then said no it was his four wives! Talk about a vivid imagination but at least he was happy.
Showing posts with label isolation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label isolation. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Friday, December 23, 2016
Shingles
Shingles is not pleasant at the best of times but for someone with Alzheimer's it is not good. It causes more confusion and of course can be quite painful. It is difficult to know exactly how they are feeling as they are not too sure themselves. George no longer seems to be getting the very high temperatures which he was getting. That was a real problem as he was shivering as he felt freezing cold. We have had a cooling fan going to keep his room cool. He is taking painkillers regularly. His mobility is not good at all and he is not too keen on showering or getting dressed. One day, when he was particularly bad l got him up out of his chair (a mission which took about twenty minutes) and onto the bed. He flopped down and nearly fell off. Using my body I helped him wriggle in to the middle. He promptly fell asleep, very high temperature at the time.
You need to keep a very close eye at these times.
You need to keep a very close eye at these times.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Another thing I have learnt...
Empathy and understanding...
Caregivers will find that these are often sadly lacking for those with Alzheimer's as it is such a difficult disease to deal with. Some in the medical profession have made it an area of specialty but not many. The same may be said of nurses. A patient with Alzheimer's who has to go into hospital often deteriorates over this time due to the lack of understanding with how to deal with the patient who is so confused and becomes more so often resulting in anxieties which may not have been present before.
Friends and family try to be supportive but often at a distance. Many just want to 'remember the person as they were' and would rather not have a lot to do with the person or limited contact. This does not necessarily mean they don't care but just that they don't know how to react or sometimes simply that they have other things going on in their lives so don't want to deal with it. Others are frightened of the disease due to a lack of understanding of the disease. Of course this is not everyone but unfortunately it does include a large number of the population. Part of this is due to ignorance. It is a disease that is difficult to understand as it is not the same for any two people. I found my young grandson who stayed earlier this year was actually the best. He is 8 years old and just treated everything as being normal especially his dealings with George, they just continued as normal and George really responded to that.
I often find things vary from day to day while at other times from hour to hour. Strangely enough you will also get people who think that they know more about how to manage your life than you do. As it is impossible to know as it changes so frequently this advice rarely holds water. From bitter experience I have learnt not to argue or discuss it but to let them give the advice and feel that they have done their bit and then just go on to manage to fit the situation. Until you actually live with someone with Alzheimer's for a prolonged period of time you actually have no idea. It is no wonder that caregivers can become isolated as often it is only people in the same situation that can understand what it is like and others really don't want to know.
Many people try and have a conversation with a person with Alzheimer's and they treat them as a child. This comes out as condescending and is not appreciated by the person, they do know and do want to be treated as a normal human being. Mum used to get very frustrated with people treating her like this.
Best way to deal with people is to smile, don't argue and let a lot of the advice roll over you although do listen as some ideas may have merit.
Caregivers will find that these are often sadly lacking for those with Alzheimer's as it is such a difficult disease to deal with. Some in the medical profession have made it an area of specialty but not many. The same may be said of nurses. A patient with Alzheimer's who has to go into hospital often deteriorates over this time due to the lack of understanding with how to deal with the patient who is so confused and becomes more so often resulting in anxieties which may not have been present before.
Friends and family try to be supportive but often at a distance. Many just want to 'remember the person as they were' and would rather not have a lot to do with the person or limited contact. This does not necessarily mean they don't care but just that they don't know how to react or sometimes simply that they have other things going on in their lives so don't want to deal with it. Others are frightened of the disease due to a lack of understanding of the disease. Of course this is not everyone but unfortunately it does include a large number of the population. Part of this is due to ignorance. It is a disease that is difficult to understand as it is not the same for any two people. I found my young grandson who stayed earlier this year was actually the best. He is 8 years old and just treated everything as being normal especially his dealings with George, they just continued as normal and George really responded to that.
I often find things vary from day to day while at other times from hour to hour. Strangely enough you will also get people who think that they know more about how to manage your life than you do. As it is impossible to know as it changes so frequently this advice rarely holds water. From bitter experience I have learnt not to argue or discuss it but to let them give the advice and feel that they have done their bit and then just go on to manage to fit the situation. Until you actually live with someone with Alzheimer's for a prolonged period of time you actually have no idea. It is no wonder that caregivers can become isolated as often it is only people in the same situation that can understand what it is like and others really don't want to know.
Many people try and have a conversation with a person with Alzheimer's and they treat them as a child. This comes out as condescending and is not appreciated by the person, they do know and do want to be treated as a normal human being. Mum used to get very frustrated with people treating her like this.
Best way to deal with people is to smile, don't argue and let a lot of the advice roll over you although do listen as some ideas may have merit.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Isolation
What a week. A neighbour was devastated when her sister died last weekend. I comforted her, baked biscuits and corn cases and fed the cat while they were away to go to the funeral. Another neighbour has just found out that there is no more work for him with his old firm. It has been a very hard time for people here as just when you think things are getting better something else comes along. I guess we are all noticing it as we all have so many issues still from the earthquakes which were 3 and a half years ago. It must be something in the water.
George has been confused all week - he is compliant which is a relief - and needs to be told exactly what to do - almost like giving commands sometimes. He does try to please but - the caregiver one morning told him to go the toilet and wipe his bottom. He did and went into the bathroom with the soiled toilet paper for the caregiver.
Something I find extremely hard to deal with and I know a lot of other caregivers also do is the isolation we often feel. Those who are not in the same situation are pretty good at telling you what you should do but the reality is really quite different. You tend to find that most of the day is tied up with doing things with or for the person you are caring for. When no other family members are here there is no one to celebrate your birthday with or Christmas. We try to make the people we are caring for feel special at these times but there is no one to make you feel special. As someone said to me you have to do it yourself. When you are just on your own it rather takes any fun out of it. Some caregivers do have family around who will come and stay with the person they care for, for example I know of someone who went with her girlfriends on a cruise while family members cared for her husband. I rely on the respite care I am given from the government which I need to use carefully. I have been told it is like looking after a small child but that actually is not true. Many mothers have grandparents or friends who can look after their children for a time this is generally not true with elderly dementia patients.
George has been confused all week - he is compliant which is a relief - and needs to be told exactly what to do - almost like giving commands sometimes. He does try to please but - the caregiver one morning told him to go the toilet and wipe his bottom. He did and went into the bathroom with the soiled toilet paper for the caregiver.
Something I find extremely hard to deal with and I know a lot of other caregivers also do is the isolation we often feel. Those who are not in the same situation are pretty good at telling you what you should do but the reality is really quite different. You tend to find that most of the day is tied up with doing things with or for the person you are caring for. When no other family members are here there is no one to celebrate your birthday with or Christmas. We try to make the people we are caring for feel special at these times but there is no one to make you feel special. As someone said to me you have to do it yourself. When you are just on your own it rather takes any fun out of it. Some caregivers do have family around who will come and stay with the person they care for, for example I know of someone who went with her girlfriends on a cruise while family members cared for her husband. I rely on the respite care I am given from the government which I need to use carefully. I have been told it is like looking after a small child but that actually is not true. Many mothers have grandparents or friends who can look after their children for a time this is generally not true with elderly dementia patients.
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