lack of mobility

Any actually breaks or damage have been completely ruled out with George which is great news. However we need to get him standing and moving so he does not loose the ability to walk. A urine test has been taken to see if he has an infection leading to his confusion.

Just getting him to stand up is a mission and is taking the four caregivers. He appears to have lost the confidence to stand up. We are not sure of the cause. It could be due to the isolation when he stayed in his room, it could be after the fall or it could be the progression of his dementia.

When anyone tries to get him to stand he curls into a foetal position and you can't get him to straighten to stand up. He tenses up and stays rigid in this position. It is as though he is very scared.

Today I said to him about eating drinking and going for wee walk. He looked at sorrowly and said 'I can't walk'. Unfortunately this was about his only lucid moment today.

This is like a child with Maths, if they think they can't do it they get a block and find it difficult.

Today I talked to the nurse and suggested that when any of the caregivers had a spare 5 minutes that they try to get John to stand. I will do the same thing. We won't walk but just become confident with standing. We can then, hopefully build up from there.i

Remember you are only human

Yesterday did not start well. George had taken the night bag off resulting in sodden sheets....

I took him to a cafe where we met some other people and one of the men engaged George in one on one conversation which he really enjoyed. Back home he was restless and although nothing outrageous just kept me doing things with him to keep him calm and of course I have other things to do. My patience was wearing thin.

Last night, while eating tea, he kept playing with it and moving it round and round the plate and then telling me he had finished. I kept saying he hadn't and to eat it up. He eats and lot of sweet rubbish food which is fine but I do try to keep a balanced diet for him for his three main meals. In the end I gave up but I was 'sharpish' with him.

He sat in lounge and was quite upset at 'being growled at'. I shouldn't have done it and I know better but...

Remember we as caregivers are only human sometimes

Luckily he is a bit better today but still not one of his better days.

Tomorrow he is being reassessed by the people from the hospital.

Confusion

Poor George is often very confused. He will check in each doorway when he is looking for a specific room (in the flat), he will turn to go down the hall when he is on his way to the car (it is the other way). In the car he can sometimes do up his seat belt but at other times grasps the wrong part of the seat belt and jam it. Sometimes he can open the car at the end of a drive and other times he can't and I have to do it.

Every day George has Breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and finally his evening meal. He really likes his food. What I can't fathom is why he leaves a bit off each biscuit (and often parts of other things too). I have explained to him that he can eat the lot but he persists in this behaviour for no apparent reason.

I have learnt to go with the flow....

Stress

When George came home from respite care he was still extremely confused. Since then I have benn trying to keep things very calm and in routine. He does not cope with people rushing around and talking quickly and loudly, mum was the same. I have found that most of those with Alzheimer's are the same. It is better to agree with them and try to divert them rather than treat them as though they don't know what they are talking about or in a condescending manner. Nothing is more irritating to anyone let alone someone who is struggling to make sense of the world. Some people react to stress by aggressively loudly verbally attacking others. It is so unnecessary and achieves very little except making the aggressor feel 'in control', I find this extremely difficult to deal with let alone someone with Alzheimer's. A quiet reasoned soothing voice tone is required.

Today trying to keep this calm atmosphere and giving George lots of attention and the phone goes. Now you may have heard the saying, it never rains but it pours! It is true!

I got a phone call to say that a hacker from China had got into my bank account and was trying to transfer money out. Now I use three different banks for Mum and us. I then had to get on to each bank to stop anyone accessing all accounts and I also rang the police so they could try trace them. Phone calls took me over four hours. These automated desks are so useless.

Obviously a virus, I had been trying to clean mysmartsearch earlier - very nasty. I  had uninstalled the programme which had installed itself and I also had done a virus scan and cleaned the registry to no avail resulting in what happened this morning.

Stress, I felt very stressed. I had to be very careful and still give George attention and keep a calm gentle voice - I have certainly been doing this for over four years. Having no one else to listen to me I can't really do anything Anyway so there is no use worrying about it.

I have got my computer in being cleaned so all will end well I am pleased to say. Thank God I do know what I am doing, despite what anyone else may think, otherwise the outcome may not have been so good.

Result now is that I have got things sorted and George is a lot less confused than he was when he came home on Saturday. Just keep things calm, do things slowly and methodically and everything will turn out OK in the end,fingers crossed...

Long morning

George of tens wakes up - and gets up - early in the morning, for example at 4.30. Sometimes I am able to get him back to bed but not always. As his carers do not arrive until several hours later this can be a time of restlessness. I have found that the best way to deal with this to get his breakfast a bit at a time and spread it out as long as I can. First he has his coffee and his pill. Next comes fresh fruit. Then I get him cereal. Last, but not least, I get toast or muffins.  This takes some time but often there are two plus hours to wait. Talking about things that are going on, personal things such as what is happening that day generally works but it does mean that you are doing things you may want to.

There is little point however in doing the washing before the caregiver has come so that is the first thing I do as soon as the caregiver goes. If we then need to get out straight away then getting that washing out is the first thing I do as soon as I get home.

Life goes on

I haven't posted for a while due to many things happening.

George is sitting reading the paper. I told him this morning that the paper was there at the gate. He got his walking stick and walked outside and then came back. I thought that he had forgotten what he was doing but no

he had forgotten to wear a hat!! He wears a hat ALL the time except when he is asleep - he is the same with gloves. We will be going out and I will have him in the car and then he will get out to go and get his gloves. Unfortunately he is unable to keep any one pair together and so I find them all over the place. For times when I am in a great hurry I keep a pair in the garage!!

Yesterday was one of the days I go to visit my mother. Before I leave I like to get the washing done and out, including changing the bed. Yesterday George slept in so as soon as he got up I stripped the bed to get the linen in the wash (earlier I had done another load of washing - as I do most days). I had already got George's breakfast and pills out ready for him. He came out wearing; one pyjama top, two T shirts, two shirts, one pair of undies, one pair of pyjama pants, two pairs of trousers....

Learn patience when caregiving anyone with this disease.

Keeping organised

Today I was trying to get some things done. George's Monday caregiver was supposed to take him out for coffee today but rang just before she was due to get her to say she was sick. George then got himself ready and came to me and announced that I could take him. Something I have found with both Mum and George is that it is better to do what they want rather than not doing it. Frankly I did not want to go out but George does want to go out every day.

He insisted on coming into the supermarket with me and handed me some stuff (from the car) while we were in there. I was trying to hold on to that and dropped some cards from my wallet which I did not realise until I got home. We went and he had a coffee and pie while I had a coffee. I then left something else there!! I was feeling pretty stressed knowing what I had hoped to accomplish today.

A couple of hours after we got home he was going to go on the bus down to Brighton!!

Mum was also like this but then George and mum were together during the day and did quite a bit together and I was working. During that time it was at weekends I had mum with me most of the time and took her out everywhere but also it meant that I was not worrying about things much during the day and had 'ordinary people' to converse with.

It can certainly try your patience at times.

Bad day

Yesterday was not an easy day for poor old George. It started off well but...

• He took off the continence pad he had worn to bed, I searched everywhere but was unable to find it. I took all the washing out of the washing machine but could not find it. I did the washing and found that it had been in there but George must have put it inside something so I had not seen it! It takes ages to clean it out of the washing machine
• George decided to go on the bus down to Brighton. He soiled himself and came home! Shower, change and another load of washing. 
• He had a new pad on and then after lunch went to have a nap. I had to go out. When I came home I found that he had taken his trousers, undies (pad and all) and urinated down the hall and over the toilet floor. More washing and steam clean the floors!

Luckily today was fine. He now wears continence pads all the time and I keep reminding him not to remove them. I explain to him it is to help him so it does not embarrass him.

Different cultures

Was talking to a friend recently and we were talking about the attitudes of different cult ures towards the elderly. In many cultures the elderly are respected and looked after within the family.

In our culture this is often not the case. Now many families are spread throughout the world and have their own lives to lead which can mean that many elderly people have to cope without family members. It is such a shame both for the elderly and many family members who often do not know these members of their family very well. Even those with Alzheimer's have things to offer their families. Don't forget to have patience and to spend time with other members of your family, it is through doing that that you may learn a lot about yourself.

Be patient

I find that you have to be very patient when caring for those with Alzheimer's. For example a typical morning today. I had a lot of things I needed to do today. George woke before me this morning,not good. The kitchen bench was a mess. He had tried to get his own breakfast. He had got the sugar bowl which was half full of sugar. He filled it with cornflakes and then filled it with milk, overflowing all over the place!

After getting dressed (with the caregiver) he was ready to go, but no! He changed his shoes,wanted gloves (very hot day), and various other things.  It is impossible to hurry him. He was always incredibly slow but now...