Yesterday someone reminded me of an aha moment that I had.
6 months before Mum's condition caused her to need to go into a home she was still driving. One morning I was at home working. I heard a loud bang. Mum had backed her car out of her garage and straight through the neigbour's fence. Luckily only the car was hurt. No more work for me that day. I needed to organise for the car and ring various people regarding the accident. I had been noticing Mum's driving was not what it had been but she was only driving short distances to the shop or something, most of the time I took her places.
I suggested to her that this was someone trying to tell her that it was time to stop driving. She was quite happy with that and in fact may have been relieved. Here we have free buses for the over 65s and half price taxis. All worked out until unfortunately well meaning people said to her how awful for her to stop driving and it would mean she would lose her independence!! I couldn't believe it but it was her decision and her money. Sometimes it is important for others to think before making some of these decisions.
I took her out to buy a car. With the salesman she took a test drive and drove really well. That was the last time she ever drove. She asked me to go and get it to bring it home which I did. She tried to drive it but couldn't work out brake and accelerator. I tried to give her some lessons to no avail. I got a man out from AA who frankly looked like a ghost after trying to work with her. He pulled me aside and said she was past it and would never drive again. That is exactly what happened. I was then able to tell other people that we had tried to get her back driving but it was not going to happen. Rather a waste of money but kept everyone happy.
5 months later we had the devastating earthquakes. A few weeks later I was at a class in Brighton. George came in to tell me that thieves had stolen his car from the car park. He had reported it to the police. I checked the car park. At this stage I hadn't know George too had Alzheimer's. We did not get the car back and the insurance company paid out on the claim As with Mum I told him it was sometime telling it was time to stop driving. He accepted that and started using a bus (with couldn't go far with many roads closed).
Six weeks later he came home all excited he had seen his car in another car park where the thieves had brought it back to. I took him down - I didn't actually know that this car park existed. As soon as I saw the car I knew it hadn't been stolen. He had a steering wheel lock on and it hadn't been broken... He swore up hill and down dale that thieves had taken and returned it.
I rang the insurance company to let them know.
A couple of days later I was cleaning out stuff in the garage (part of the earthquake damage) when I heard George's car coming home (I didn't know he had gone out). As he turned the car to go into the garage I heard the tyre on metal! I went over and asked if he had had a prang. No, no said George!!! Utter rubbish, there was a big ding in the front left of the car. I showed it to him but he thought that someone else had done it while he was getting his wine.
Very stressed I was by that time.
Just then the phone rang and it was our insurance broker. I told him what had happened. He asked me and something and I said something or other and he said, 'don't you want that car'. I had told him when it went missing that I was relieved as I was not happy with George's driving so I reiterated that sentiment. He then told me he would send a truck and auction it off and I could keep the payout. So wonderful of him.
That is when I had my aha moment and realised that George too had Alzheimer's.
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