Christmas

I always loved Christmas, it was a really special time for me and, like dad, I always felt it was the time for families to be together.

Unfortunately I have found over the years that it has lost it's meaning for me. I think it started the Christmas when dad was dying. I found it very hard and I tried so hard to make his Christmas as special as I could. Of course the following year was also extremely sad as it was the first year without him and I knew it would be difficult for mum. I tried my best to make it happy for her. Luckily my son was there also to help with the Christmas feeling so it was not all on me.

Some years before he died dad went and got me a special gold and crystal bracelet for Christmas which I loved. Unfortunately someone was helping me tidy up and threw it and some other jewellery out. It was my fault as I had taken it away and just put it in a plastic shopping bag as I thought that no one would expect to find jewellery in something like that (safe??? I thought). I left it on top of a case in the garage so I would know where it was. I just hope that he knows how much it meant to me and how devastated I was to lose it. I have found that I have lost so much with others 'helping' and not asking me about some of the things. Someone else wanted their son to live in our old house and said that they would help me with the clearing out. A hell of a lot of stuff was just thrown out and I was horrified to find that a pommel off an historic fencing foil was thrown out. I have the foil, the cockle and the pommel together on a couch and when I went to get them found that the cockle and foil had been moved and the pommel thrown out!! Those are just two of the instances of important stuff going out as others do not have a clue of their value. I can't say anything as people think that they are doing the right thing. When I asked about the pommel I was asked how was she to know and she was sure she wouldn't have thrown it out!! That is the same with the jewellery. Neither has turned up.

Five years later my son and his family moved here and we had three lovely Christmas's which was so wonderful being able to go to his home to be there when the children opened their presents.

Two of George's sons has sent him a Christmas card. I ensure that both Mum and George  have presents and I try to make them feel special and I help them open them.

How much either George or mum now understand about Christmas I do not know but again it is something I do my best to ensure that they are able to enjoy something. I hope that when dad is looking down at least that is one thing he approves of that I am doing.

This is just because I often find my life is lived in a vacuum. I am also aware of the large number of people who have very little at Christmas time due to their financial circumstances and others who are dealing with a death. Tonight on the News we heard about someone dying due to a bar fight. Imagine the Christmas his family is having. Others are killed in traffic accidents. I just hope that others stay safe and have a lovely family time.